Another trip to California

i’m sitting here studying this afternoon, but i can’t keep my mind from wandering…

most of you know that the whole farra clan is traveling back to california this next week for corey and lindsey’s wedding.  to help us with this little affair, we have some amazing friends back on the coast who are opening up their lives to make this trip really special for all of us.

a house to stay in, cars to drive, baby supplies for the newest farra, chauffeuring, totally adjusted schedules, food to eat…even a travel trailer for some of our friends from texas to stay in (think national lampoon christmas vacation).

in spite of this incredible imposition that we are creating, they all still seem genuinely excited for us to be coming.  that’s what real friendship is all about, i suppose…

last night, as i was talking to one of our friends who is making this all possible, she said that she had learned a lesson a long time ago, to share what god had given to her…because it was god’s anyway.

it was the same lesson wanda and i were taught when we were just a young couple beginning our life journey…and we have done our best to pass it on to everyone we have ever been around…to our own boys and all who have ever lived with us…to our friends and church family and youth group…pretty much anybody who has ever gotten close enough to see what was important to us.

how incredible to see that the spirit of generosity, that was passed on to us many years ago, keeps being lived out in the lives of humble people along the way.  and it constantly comes back to bless us again and again.

i’ve written about this before, but i want to pass it on again:

don’t own anything that you can’t freely let go of for the benefit of others.

learn the joy of sharing what you have, especially to those in need.

we live in a world where people are owned by their stuff.  what a crummy way to live.

the more you can understand that your stuff is only “on loan” to you…everything…your house and your cars and your technology and your equipment and even your own children…the sooner and more completely you’ll understand that your own life is “on loan”, also.

when that happens,  the grossness of the self-centeredness of our lives begins to diminish…and can be replaced with a purpose and meaning  and gratitude that is beyond words.

yes…a much better way to live.

Axioms…from my perspective

normally, i dedicate thursdays to giving some of my personal life axioms…truth that, from my perspective, is self-evident. sometimes practical. sometimes philosophical. sometimes whimsical. but truth, no less.

“spend your life doing something you would do…even if you weren’t paid to do it.”

you know, there are a lot people who have to get up every day and go to work at jobs they don’t really like.  they have bills to pay and children to feed and financial responsibilities out their ears…and job prospects are limited, so they have to take just about anything that comes their way…just to make ends meet.  my heart goes out to you, if you are one of those in this situation.

frankly, there are many who struggle just to make it through each day…people who would love to trade in their current job…or current situation… for something more meaningful, more fulfilling, more purposeful.  but they can’t.

but what i am saying is less about a job and more about what’s going on in our hearts.

what thrills you?

what is really important to you?

what puts purpose in your step?

what do you go to bed at night anticipating for the next day?

is there anything that transcends the mundane in your life?

what produces joy…even in the midst of difficulty?

i’m a pretty fortunate guy.  for most of my life, i’ve really had a job that allowed me to spend most of my days doing youth ministry…the thing i always loved and the thing that has always been the  most important to me.  but i would have done  it if nobody paid me.  i used to.  i would again.

it’s that important.

so i’ll ask again.  what do you believe in so much that you would do it (and will do it) simply because it means that much to you?

what is it?

This isn’t going to change your life

not sure why i woke up this morning thinking about this.  just a slow day, i guess…

this past sunday, there were some regular north pointers that sat in completely different seats than where they normally sit.  it threw me off.

why did you move?  has something changed in your life?  was there a bad smell in that section where you usually plant yourself?  has your eyesight weakened?  have i moved in the front and the glare from my head has invaded your previous location?  did someone steal your seats because you were late?

amazing how i can preach an entire sermon, yet have this kind of deep conversation going on in my head at the same time…  must be a spiritual gift.

so this got me thinking.  why do you sit where you sit on sundays?  really.  i want to know. do you have the same approach at a church service as you do for a movie or a football game?  really.  i want to know.

Monday Morning Quarterback

first off, i’m trying out a new background.  i think it’s time for a change.  if you like it, let me know.  if you don’t, keep your judgmental, narrow-minded opinion to yourself.  the management thanks you.

what an awesome day!  great experiences…and lessons learned.

before i give you the highlights, i need to remind you of some truth.  i don’t obsess with our attendance on sunday mornings.  i really don’t.  i’ve moved beyond that years ago.  god does not evaluate the depth of our discipleship simply by what we do on sunday mornings.  i don’t…and won’t…either.

i’ve also moved way beyond the mickey mouse ways we judge and rank and evaluate the worth and value of a church family by looking at it’s size.  i don’t…and won’t…measure the importance or success of north point by what happens during an hour on sunday mornings.

with that said, i also know that a full house always feels better.  a full house communicates something powerful to new people.  a full house inspires me.

a small attendance can effect our attitudes and confidence.  a small attendance can cause us to question our worth and value and even our calling.  a small attendance almost always insures a smaller offering…and for a church family that doesn’t have a huge emergency fund, a small offering on any given sunday has a huge effect on ministry decisions the very next week.

i was concerned that our attendance was going to be down today.  i knew of so many of our family that were gone on vacation or out because of family commitments.  i hate admitting this, but my heart was heavy as i woke up on sunday morning…

• we started off with a great prayer time.  our leadership team takes  some time each sunday morning to pray for the service and for our church family at 9:25.  you can come and join us in my office anytime.
• i walked out of the room with a renewed spirit and a huge confidence that god was completely in control of the morning.  i was ready to go!
• in spite of all of our vacationing family, attendance was great.  in both hours.
• hope you have gotten a good taste of rich mullins over the past week.  it was pretty cool to hear his music in our building as the services started.  what a legacy…
• new faces all over the place!  gotta get our act together when it comes to helping new people find a way to connect.  do you want to join that team?
• there are a group of us who have been praying over the past year for god to bring some new people to north point…people with a passion for the lost, a heart for our community, and a commitment to doing ministry a little “outside-the-box”.  i think god is in the process of answering that prayer.
• my story about being falsely accused (“slanderized”) was a little more painful to re-live than i thought it was going to be.
• i am loving this part of james’ letter.  so practical.  so confrontive.  pretty hard to run and hide from the truth.
• there are some who say that the value of a sermon can be found in it’s length…if a preacher is really serious about his study and presentation of the word, it needs to be longer.  45, 55, even 60 minutes long.  sort of the more is better mentality.  i’m not convinced.
• there was a time in our past where we never started on time.  it was a joke around our church family to talk about “north point time”.  i’m pretty proud of the fact that nobody ever brings that up anymore.
• i’m pretty sure people would have continued to stay in our building loooong past 1:00 if i hadn’t kicked people out.  as it was, i didn’t get home from lunch until nearly 3:00.
• speaking of lunch, jason’s deli was pretty good today.  the time with friends was even better.
• who are you going out to lunch with on sundays?  it’s time to get connected!

on a related topic, i’m going to do a little follow-up on a reference i made in my sermon this morning.  i told the story of phil aguilar, a thug-herion addict-gang-leader-turned-preacher from back in my old days in so cal.  i didn’t really have the time to tell the whole story…and i won’t here either.  what i will say is that phil’s ministry, called “set free”, has been blanketed with controversy since it’s beginning, way back in 1982.

the media, the church, the police, and even gangs like the notorious “hell’s angels”, all have differing opinions…judgments…about phil and what “set free” does.  i will admit that much of what they do is extremely controversial.  but like most things, there are always two sides to most every story.  “set free” was, and currently is, a ministry on the edge…trying to reach the most hardened, abused, darkened, deviant, anti-social, and lost souls in our society.  extreme jobs sometimes call for extreme measures.  that would characterize “set free”.

i’ll let you be the judge.  just joking.  honestly, this whole story is a perfect example of today’s sermon…the potential harm of slander…the need for biblical and relational accountability…the power of reputation…and the need to let god be god.  phil and a few of his biker crew are currently up on assault charges (a brawl with some hell’s angels).  he maintains his innocense.

if you’re interested, here’s a link to pastor phil’s myspace.  it will give you a look into the heartbeat of their ministry.  i am not comfortable with everything they do.  way too authoritarian.  but from my personal history with urban ministry, i also know that strong leadership is often the key to respect for people who grow up on the streets.

like i said.  you be the judge.  just not the jury.

For now…one last look back

here’s one final song by rich mullins.  honestly, there’s a part of me that just wants to keep putting his songs here and force-feeding them to you until you feel what i feel.  but that’s the problem with feelings.  you don’t feel what i feel.  you can’t.

you haven’t walked in my shoes and you haven’t experienced life exactly the way i have.  i can’t expect your journey to match up with mine.  but i can tell you that the words that come from the heart of this lonely prophet are some of the deepest and most radically simple of any i have ever heard.

and he didn’t just write about a life of faith.  he lived it.  rich had given himself wholly and selflessly to working with native american indians…living with them and contending for the gospel with some of the poorest and most forgotten people in our country.  sharing his belongings and being the incarnate jesus again for least of these.

his life was a living (and dying) metaphor for humility.  this won’t be the last you see of rich.

Hold Me Jesus

Well, sometimes my life just don’t make sense at all
When the mountains look so big
And my faith just seems so small

So hold me Jesus, ’cause I’m shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won’t You be my Prince of Peace

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It’s so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart

So hold me Jesus, ’cause I’m shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won’t You be my Prince of Peace

Surrender don’t come natural to me
I’d rather fight You for something I don’t really want
Than to take what You give that I need
And I’ve beat my head against so many walls
Now I’m falling down, I’m falling on my knees

And this Salvation Army band is playing this hymn
And Your grace rings out so deep
It makes my resistance seem so thin

I’m singing hold me Jesus, ’cause I’m shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Won’t You be my Prince of Peace

You have been King of my glory
Won’t You be my Prince of Peace

take a moment to listen.  this isn’t about your musical palate.  it’s about having your heart broken.

Some random…and some Rich

i’m up late tonight…by myself…with my thoughts that are random and uncontrolled…and pretty profound for me.  maybe for you, too.

writing is both therapeutic and cathartic for me.  i find myself writing things that expose my weaknesses and my pain…as well as my joy and the mundane.

in the midst of all the amazing good in my life (and there is a lot), everything is not perfect.  it’s not for anybody.  i just want to make sure you know that it’s not for me either!  there are things that i wish were different.  there are things that remind me of past hurt.  there are unpleasant consequences from past mistakes or unknown shortcomings.  it’s just life, i suppose.

it doesn’t effect my faith.  at least not negatively.  if anything, sadness causes me to draw close and experience the reality of a god who embodies a peace that transcends my understanding and brings wholeness to my bones.

tonight, i had a long conversation with an old friend who has been given a second chance at life.  his journey of faith has been a long and bumpy one.  questions and doubt have always been front and center.  his recent bout with the enemy has brought some clarity.  his search is yielding some relief…some answers.  i think a saving faith is taking up residence  in his soul.

i’m glad he never gave up the fight.  i’m glad god never let go of him.

there are others in my life that are on this same journey.  i hope their story has a similar conclusion.

here’s another rich mullins tune.  i told you earlier in the week that rich had an understanding of death that inspired me.  this is the song that cemented my belief that god was using him to speak to my soul, rattle my faith system, and give me a personal story that needed to be bigger than life…and death:

Elijah

The Jordan is waiting for me to cross through
My heart is aging I can tell
So Lord, I’m begging for one last favor from You
Here’s my heart take it where You will

This life has shown me how we’re mended and how we’re torn
How it’s okay to be lonely as long as you’re free
Sometimes my ground was stoney
And sometimes covered up with thorns
And only You could make it what it had to be
And now that it’s done
Well if they dressed me like a pauper
Or if they dined me like a prince
If they lay me with my fathers
Or if my ashes scatter on the wind
I don’t care

But when I leave I want to go out like Elijah
With a whirlwind to fuel my chariot of fire
And when I look back on the stars
It’ll be like a candlelight in Central Park
And it won’t break my heart to say goodbye

There’s people been friendly, but they’d never be your friends
Sometimes this has bent me to the ground
Now that this is all ending
I want to hear some music once again
‘Cause it’s the finest thing that I have ever found

But the Jordan is waiting
Though I ain’t never seen the other side
Still they say you can’t take in the things you have here
So on the road to salvation
I stick out my thumb and He gives me a ride
And His music is already falling on my ears

There’s people been talking
They say they’re worried about my soul
Well, I’m here to tell you I’ll keep rocking
‘Til I’m sure it’s my time to roll
And when I do

When I leave I want to go out like Elijah
With a whirlwind to fuel my chariot of fire
And when I look back on the stars
It’ll be like a candlelight in Central Park

this video was shot shortly before his death in a jeep accident in september, 1997.

Some more Rich Mullins

rich had a way of speaking about death that opened my eyes and gave inspiration to my bones.  for him, the final enemy was nothing to be feared, but the reward to be embraced.  i have never heard anybody write (or sing) with such confidence…such eloquence…such warmth.

it always gives me confidence.  and boldness.

here is one of the songs that brought relief in a dark time in my life:

Be With You

Everybody each and all
We’re gonna die eventually
It’s no more or less our faults
Than it is our destiny
So now Lord I come to you
Asking only for Your grace
You know what I’ve put myself through
All those empty dreams I chased

And when my body lies in the ruins
Of the lies that nearly ruined me
Will You pick up the pieces
That were pure and true
And breathe Your life into them
And set them free?

And when You start this world over
Again from scratch
Will You make me anew
Out of the stuff that lasts?
Stuff that’s purer than gold is
And clearer than glass could ever be
Can I be with You?
Can I be with You?

And everybody all and each
From the day that we are born
We have to learn to walk beneath
Those mercies by which we’re drawn
And now we wrestle in the dark
With these angels that we can’t see
We will move on although with scars
Oh Lord, move inside of me

And when my body lies in the ruins
Of the lies that nearly runied me
Will You pick up the pieces
That were pure and true
And breathe Your life into them
And set them free?

And when You blast this cosmos
To kingdom come
When those jagged-edged mountains
I love are gone
When the sky is crossed with the tears
Of a thousand falling suns
As they crash into the sea
Can I be with you?
Can I be with you?

today, as i read these lyrics one last time, it seems ironically beautiful that one who spoke so freely and confidently of death would greet it so early in his life…

55

this was a milestone day.

i found out that the senior citizen discount at whataburger is a free fountain drink.  everyday.

you have to be 55 to get it.  so i did.

i think i’m going back there again tomorrow.

this has now been added to my ongoing list of reasons why it’s cool growing old.

I miss this

music is important to me.  it wasn’t very long ago that playing my guitar and leading singing and helping people (especially kids) learn to go deeper in their awareness of the presence of god through music was something that characterized my life.  i miss those days.

but music is still important to me.

back in the early 80’s, i was introduced to music of rich mullins.  his music and lyrics challenged and sustained me during some really difficult times.  his theology stretched my thinking and impacted my lifestyle.  the depth of his understanding of god and the kingdom was profound.

he died an untimely death.  our loss was beyond words at the time.  it’s still pretty much beyond my words.

anyway, i thought i’d share a few of his songs with you.  his music was simple.  it never topped the charts.  it wouldn’t today.  but his lyrics…

If I Stand

There’s more that rises in the morning than the sun
And more that shines in the night than just the moon
It’s more than just this fire here that keeps me warm
In a shelter that is larger than this room

And there’s a loyalty that’s deeper than mere sentiments
And a music higher than the songs that I can sing
The stuff of earth competes for the allegiance
I owe only to the Giver of all good things

So if I stand let me stand on the promise
That you will pull me through
And if I can’t, let me fall on the grace
That first brought me to You
And if I sing let me sing for the joy
That has born in me these songs
And if I weep let it be as a man
Who is longing for his home

There’s more that dances on the prairies than the wind
More that pulses in the ocean than the tide
There’s a love that is fiercer than the love between friends
More gentle than a mother’s when her baby’s at her side

i think i’ll give you some more insight into rich mullins tomorrow…

Monday Morning Quarterback

what a great day yesterday…everything i had hoped for as i traveled back from california!

• after a two-week break, i was definitely ready to preach again.
• on our vacation, i watched some goofy television preachers while we were in motels.  not sure why i watch, but i think  they’re kind of addictive.  and they make me really aware of the power and responsibility i have when i stand in front of people and speak on behalf of the almighty.  wow…
• crazy, confrontive text in james 4
• after studying and teaching this week, i am more convinced than ever before that the problem we all face is one of pride and submission.
• our pride makes us really believe we can be in control of our lives…our inability to submit robs us of the best that god has to offer.
• we’ve got to distinguish the difference between living in the vicinity of god and drawing near to god.  until we do, there will be absolutely no progress in our spiritual journey.
• after last week’s low attendance, i wasn’t sure what to expect…especially in the 10:00 hour.  good crowd, though.  in both hours.
• awesome music, great friends, new faces, lots of laughter, real people with real problems and genuine interaction…everything i love about north point!
• didn’t realize we have a demon-possessed closet in the auditorium.  kind of creepy.
• good response to the golf tournament.  looking forward to august 16.
• fuzzy’s tacos for lunch.  you need to join us next time we go.  a garlic-shredded beef taco and a potato-egg-cheese taco were just what the doctor ordered.
• my friend scott congdon (ceo of amor ministries) came to town this weekend and there were about 16 of us that met a taco cabana and got to hear…first hand…about what’s really going on in mexico with the drug cartel and shootings and the swine flu.  really eye-opening.
• …and really frustrating to know that the media has blown this all out of proportion.  can’t wait to get back to mexico!
• it’s always a good sunday when i can eat mexican food twice…with friends.
• this is going to be an amazing week.  i know it.