Monday Morning Quarterback

what a great sunday!

• getting up and driving to np in the jeep in cool weather was awesome.  i am so ready for fall to arrive.
• to be honest, i was a little surprised at the number of people we had yesterday.  i expected more.
• of course, i expect a full house every sunday.  would you expect any less from me?
• brandon has used up his excuses for not playing the bass on sundays.  from now on, it will cost him.
• on top of that, he won’t even leave me one of his cool looking-playing basses for me to play.  he must be worried.
• my feet were really tired from standing from standing almost non-stop from 8:15-1:00.
• i’ll add that to my list of reasons i need to lose weight.
• we are unbelievably blessed to have the band and “a/v” guys we have.  8:30 every sunday morning…and both services.
• what’s your investment in north point? what are you doing to make sure that we are putting our best foot forward to people?
• i kind of feel bad for making fun of logan and his church language.  not really.
• double ed-ged?  puh-leeze.
• we finally came to a conclusion in the book of james!
• a 21-week series…that is definitely the longest i have preached at north point.
• what an incredible ending to the letter.  the call to invest in the lives of people who are wandering away from the truth is powerful.
• great songs.
• remedy was the perfect song to end this series.  “let us be the remedy…” wow.
• mighty to save was a perfect way to end the service.
• it was nearly 1:00 before everyone had cleared out of the building.  cool.
• “when your love outlasts my failure, that’s when church happens.” best new quote.  you’ll see it again.
• lunch at rudy’s barbeque.  a fitting ending.

can’t wait for this coming sunday.  ONE.

Adventures in leadership

here’s a leadership thought…

some leaders are decisive, authoritative, and visionary.  they don’t waver in the face of opposition.  popular opinion means nothing to them.  they don’t cater to the desires of people, nor are they influenced by what people think of them or their decisions.  they believe they are gifted to lead, make judgments and get people to follow.

other leaders are collaborative and team oriented.  they value the process…sometimes even more than the product.  consensus is their only model of decision-making.   they are influenced by what others think and work hard to get a wide variety of input before leading out.  these leaders can defer to others and find their greatest satisfaction in the relinquishing of power.

here’s some irony i have experienced over the course of my life…

i have had people criticize me for not being more of an authoritative, decisive leader.  they have negatively judged my commitment to process over product and my determination to work for consensus.  i have had people look at me and say “when are you just going step up and be the leader?”.

on the other hand, i have been criticized for making decisions (even though it was clearly my responsibility to make them) and have even lost friends in the process.  even back in my earliest years of ministry, i can remember the division and disunity on teams where my leadership decision-making was the apparent cause.

sheesh.

Axioms…from my perspective

i dedicate thursdays to giving some of my personal life axioms…truth that, from my perspective, is self-evident. sometimes practical. sometimes philosophical. sometimes whimsical. but truth, no less.

“be comfortable with the way god made you…don’t try to be someone you’re not”

our society constantly tries to paint pictures of what we need to be…how we should look, what we should wear, what we should drink to be seen as cool, the kind of things we should do to have fun, the behaviors that rich, famous, or popular people do to maintain their social status, the kind of job we have to have to feel good about ourselves, the amount of money we have to make to feel successful, the style of car or house we have to own to prove our worth in the eyes of others.

none of that matters.  worth, value and self-esteem come only from living our lives the way god has designed us to live.

i hate to admit this, but i spent a lot of years of my life trying to be something that i wasn’t.  i can remember when i was about sixteen and there was this really cool older guy that came into my “circle”.  i admired the things he did…the way he looked…the talents he had…the way others treated him.  in my eyes, he was everything i wasn’t…and everything i wanted to be.  it began an elusive chase that i spent many, many years of my life expending energy on.

there’s a line between being everything i can be…and being content with the way god made me.  one is about growing and developing and changing and maturing and reaching potential.  the other is a never-ending journey to a dead end.  and we’ve got to learn the difference!

the older i’ve gotten, the more comfortable i’ve grown in my own skin.  there are corners of my life that i can confidently say are uniquely me.  i see my upbringing stamped on me.  i see my father’s imprint.  i have character and personality and ways of looking at things that are simply part of who i am.

more than anything else, i can see the grace and wisdom of an omnipotent god who is still at work in my being.

this is one coin that definitely has two sides.  i’ll write about the other side next week.

Motivation for today…

here’s a pretty interesting quote i just read,  by mark batterson, a pastor in washington d.c. :

If you say what God wants you to say, then all the criticism in the world doesn’t matter. If you don’t say what God wants you to say, then all the compliments in the world don’t matter. In fact, those compliments can become your downfall. Criticism is dangerous. It can harden your heart and poison your spirit if you don’t handle it the right way. But I wonder if compliments are even more dangerous? If you preach for compliments you’ll avoid tough topics because you won’t want to step on toes. I hope you get compliments as a preacher. But I also hope you get some criticisms mixed in. If you aren’t offending pharisees now and then, you might be preaching a man-pleasing message instead of a God-pleasing message.

back to my sermon prep…

Marriage Tuesday…the plan

after thinking about this all day, i think i’ve come up with the format to roll with on tuesdays, as we talk about marriage.

i want to begin listing do’s and don’ts, creative ideas, warnings, absolute musts, and nuggets of truth.

through the years, i’ve accumulated a lot of things that we can do to grow stronger and healthier marriages.  i’m sure you’ve got some, also.  i’ve made my share of mistakes…and listened to a lot of yours, too.  so we’re just going to start keeping a running list.

honestly, i can’t think of a more important way to use this blog.

each week i will pass on a couple of my personal insights…from this point on they will be referred to as a “pt”…and if mine inspire you to remember a do or don’t or idea from your experience…pass it on in a comment.  i’ll add it to the list and maybe, over time, we will collaborate on something that might make a real difference!

just to get things started, i think i’ll give you one before i go to bed tonight…

pt – 1

marriage is a privilege.  it’s not a right.  we are not entitled to it.  it’s not something that’s just supposed to happen in any given culture.  you may expect to get married.  you may grow up romanticizing the institution or the ceremony or the reputation that comes with being married.  it may come easy.  it may take years to happen.  it may never happen.  but as a starting point for even discussing marriage, we need to remember that it is simply a privilege we have available to us…and  like any other privilege, we need to treat it very, very carefully.

Marriage Tuesday

i woke up today really troubled.  my world is full of broken, or breaking, marriages.  there are countless people who crawl into bed at night with people they thought they knew on their wedding day, but have come to accept that they are sleeping with a stranger.

there are many in my world who are living with the remains of a marriage that is over.  picking up pieces of promises and dreams and futures that ended some time in the past.  some are really doing okay.  others have just moved on.  some have put on masks.  still others are nursing wounds that feel like they will never heal.  my heart breaks for them.

marriage is a partnership.  no one is completely innocent in the death of a marriage.  but that doesn’t mean that the blame for the failure is equal.  people bring different levels of brokenness to table than the other…and that brokenness is usually buried, or covered over, or masked by the euphoria of “love” that is blind.

emotionally unhealthy people do not get healthy by getting married.  eventually, marriage will expose and exploit those weaknesses.  darkness and dysfunction will begin to leak out and start to stain every part of the relationship.

there are no quick fixes to broken or damaged marriages.  some marriages are beyond repair.  not because change and healing is impossible, but because one, or both partners have crossed the line that says, “it’s over.  i choose to quit.”  i see lots of marriages these days that are on the path to this kind of ending.

it’s complicated.  really complicated.  but not beyond hope.

we all need to learn more about marriage.  we need to pass on what we know about marriage.  we need to be willing to share our mistakes and open ourselves to others…especially to those that are younger or those whose marriages are shaky.

i’ve decided that i am going to set aside tuesdays as “marriage day” on my blog.  i’m going to write some of what i have learned in my 34 years of marriage and 37 years of ministry…much of which has dealt with the fruit…both good and bad…of marriages.

i hope you weigh in.  i hope you would be willing to pass on some of your wisdom right here.

also, maybe you know of some people who could benefit by this dialogue.  why not point them here and suggest they subscribe to this blog?  all they need to do is click on the “subscribe by email” line in the right hand column and follow the simple directions.  i think there is going to be some amazing stuff passed around about marriage in the weeks to come.

Monday Morning Quarterback

it’s a good discipline to sit back and reflect on the previous sunday.  what did we do well?  what areas need improvement?  what will change before next week?

• when i got to the building around 8:30, the parking lot was empty.  it was a weird feeling, because some of the band and sound team are always there before then.  i went to my office and started reading over my sermon notes for a while and kept listening for the band to start practicing.  i also started to wonder if i was being punked.
• finally, buzzy came in and told me he had decided to give the band some extra sleep time and they weren’t starting practice until 9:00.  i was relieved it wasn’t saturday…
• i know that there are many people who we only see on sunday mornings.  in spite of that, i know we are not a church family that is defined by sunday morning activity.  i like that.
• my sermon has been 25 minutes long two weeks in a row.  i feel like i need an award.  there is no question that it is harder to preach a shorter sermon with substance, than it is to preach 45 or 50 minutes.
• i watched a video-cast of a big-name preacher talk about why he preaches 50 minutes (or longer) every sunday.  the supremacy of expository preaching…value of the word…need to feed people meat…centrality of preaching in worship…verse by verse study is deeper and requires more time…blah, blah, blah.  then i listened to one of his sermons.
• what i realized was that if he would simply cut out all the times he repeated himself (you know, the kind of repeating that preachers do for drama or authoritative effect), his sermon time would be cut in half.
• i’m more convinced than i ever have been that if i discipline myself, cut out the “show”, limit the drama, and simply say what needs to be said, i can preach a better…and shorter…sermon.
• i could have easily stretched yesterday’s sermon to 40 or 45 minutes.  i’ve done it before.  but i don’t know if it would have added anything…except disinterest and disconnect.
• i’m definitely going to keep working on this.
• even after all my study on the passage (james 5:13-18), i’m still not sure about the whole elders-praying-and-anointing-with-oil thing. it just seems to me that if it were supposed to be a regular, and super-important, part of our life as a church family, there would be more instruction and definition in scripture.
• i am really grateful to gary riker for his insight and interpretation of the text.  understanding the anointing with oil as a refreshment and encouragment…as opposed to a mystical “cure”…is amazingly deep and simple, at the same time.
• singing the prophet song was a cool way to start the service.
• i love the story of elijah and ahab and the prophets of baal.  would love to see mel gibson’s movie-take on this bible story!
• one of the areas we need to work on is how we interact with our newcomers on sunday mornings.  it’s hard to know exactly what to do.  some new people want to be left alone to experience the morning alone.  others will evaluate their experience by how friendly people are.  how do you really know who’s who?
• honestly, i would like us to make the mistake on the side of being friendly and interested, rather than on the side of cold and disinterested.  agree?
• can’t ever imagine getting tired of singing all because of jesus. ever.
• i wonder how many preachers and church leaders would say that the 15-20 minutes before…and the 30 minutes after their sunday morning services are at least as important (if not more) as what actually goes on during the show?  this is another reason why i love north point!
• we went to cabana for lunch yesterday.  i had at least five people ask me if it was my favorite restaurant.  it’s not my favorite food, but i love going there on sundays.  here’s why:

you can move the tables around and sit as big groups.

you can stay as long as you want and nobody makes you feel “hurried”.

you can eat for two bucks.  anybody can join you.

salsa bar is decent.

unlimited fountain drinks.

you don’t need to wait for the waitress to bring your check.

styrofoam plates are an upgrade from the normal paper wrapper plates at other fast food establishments.

it’s close.  no wasted gas.

so here’s my challenge:  invite someone to lunch with you next sunday.  it may be the most important lunch of their lives!

Separated at birth

sooo…

can you tell which one is chris and which one is holden?

or are they both chris…or are they both holden?

kind of creepy, huh?

imagine if you were me…

Axioms…from my perspective

normally, i dedicate thursdays to giving some of my personal life axioms…truth that, from my perspective, is self-evident. sometimes practical. sometimes philosophical. sometimes whimsical. but truth, no less.

and i’m late, again.

“home is where peace resides”

the world is a crazy place!  there needs to be a space in our lives that is safe from all the attacks that chip away at our self worth and threaten our sensibilities.

there needs to be a retreat where we can wander any time, day or night, where we can be refreshed and be around genuine love and laughter…a place where we can breathe and think and play and relax and be accepted for exactly who we are…a place that affirms, protects, builds up, and makes life better, rather than tearing it down.  that is what my home is.  yours should be, also.

home should be a place where peace resides and unresolved conflict is not welcome.   a place of safety and an everyday “sanctuary” from fear and judgment and pressure and all the things that rob our joy and steal our confidence.

i realize that a lot people want their home to be the place where they don’t have to put on masks.  a place to be authentic and the people we really are.  unfortunately, for many that means a place where yelling is normal…walls are erected…silent treatments are given…doors are slammed…sarcasm is tolerated…rebellion is evident…forgiveness is absent…and power is reserved for those who can manipulate the best.

my house may not be the biggest or prettiest one on the block, but it will always be the one where peace resides.  it takes work.  it takes a commitment.   it takes compromise.  it takes a partner willing to make the same.

more than anything else, it takes surrender.  the surrender of rights and privileges and entitlement and the whole idea that i (we) am at the center of my world.  peace is worth it.  you see, peace is not the absence of turmoil.  it’s the presence of joy and purpose.

yup.  that’s my home.

about mascots

we were having a discussion about mascots the other night at bowling…

we were talking about how many great organizations have mascots that inspire their teams and galvanize their fans.

so the obvious question came up…why don’t churches have mascots?

here’s my vote for the north point mascot:

…for those that didn’t get enough sleep last night or you are feeling particularly spiritual today, this post is filed under “tongue-in-cheek”.