i don’t mean to throw the middle school group under the bus tonight, but they were a perfect, unfiltered example of humanity.
we were talking about anger (as kind of a follow-up to my sermon this past sunday) and i asked them to consider what they would do if i could show them…or convince them…that anger was a sin. i proceeded to paint a pretty blunt picture of how anger is an expression of the sinful nature that we all struggle with…and the very clear directives to not let the sun go down on our anger and to take responsibility to live at peace with every one.
then i asked if any of them had a problem with their temper or if they ever struggle with getting angry. what followed was a pretty colorful discussion of the various ways each of them get their “mad” on. and it would have been pretty funny, if it weren’t so true.
i’m not worried about them. they’re just kids. but they have already learned some life lessons they will have to outgrow, if they ever want their lives to make a kingdom difference someday.
anger comes so easy these days. everybody does it. it’s glamorized. we see it on the news every night. the anger of media stars is publicized daily on TMZ or on the cover of people magazine. sports heroes flex their self-centeredness for the world to see and make no apologies for their public antagonism directed against their opposition.
ugly divorces are commonplace. youtube has blown up with videos of gang violence, hate mongering and political ranting. the angry monologues on talk radio are entertainment for the masses. video games have taken violent expression beyond the already obscene limits of rational decency. we don’t even have to go down the road of musical lyrics or movie screenplays…where the artistic renderings of anger know no boundaries.
who’s to blame a kid?
i’m not saying this is easy, but let’s get one thing straight when it comes to anger. it’s a choice.
anger or getting mad (especially at someone) is never your only option. it may be the one you choose, but it’s never forced on you. it may be the easiest response because you are emotionally undisciplined. but nobody has ever been told they have to get mad. there are always alternatives.
and leave the whole “righteous” anger thing alone. if you think your anger is the same kind of anger god would have in the situation, you’re fooling yourself. elevating your self-righteousness to the level of deity is pretty risky business.
anger…getting hurt…blowing up…acting out…giving the silent treatment… gossiping… creating factions…hatred… dissensions… division…shutting down communication…frustration…stress…aggravation…disappointment…sadness… irritation…are never the best choices. ever. never. ever.
- compassion…
- forgiveness…
- mercy…
- grace…
- patience…
- understanding…
- peacefulness…
- kindness…
- determination…
- introspection…
- sympathy…
- unity…
- benefit of the doubt…
- tolerance…
- consideration…
- help…
- support…
- comfort…
are all viable alternatives. and much better choices.
so when are we going to stop giving each other permission to act out in anger…in all its various forms and expressions… and start loving god more than we love our feelings?
you are angry by choice. period.
I am a husband, a dad, a spankin' new grandpa...again (big papi), a pastor, a teacher, a fellow-wanderer, a baseball junkie, a lover of 24...and still waiting for Jack to return, waffles, the first day of fall , loud music, kids, play, the grace of God, and St. Augustine grass!
January 26th, 2012 at 10:45 am
An angry person stirs up conflict, and a hot-tempered person commits many sins. Prov. 29:22 Well said Mike!
January 26th, 2012 at 11:49 am
Sorry Mike. I disagree completely. Anger is an emotion that, like the weather, just is. Jesus got angry as did David.
It’s true, we are not to let the sun go down on our anger. Not hide our anger inside and suppress it, instead speak the truth to one another in love. I have seen too many clients who are beaten, raped, cheated on to dare tell them anger is a sin or a choice. Peace and forgiveness can be a process. Anger is an emotion. I don’t judge emotions. We do have choices about how we handle them- yelling or working through, acting out or peace, suppression or honesty. We are responsible for how we handle all if our emotions and what we do and say. I also think we do ourselves and Christianity a disservice when we judge emotions and tell our fellow travelers that all emotions are not acceptable. Anger is often a really good signal where powerful work can be done. With much respect, Lisa
January 26th, 2012 at 1:20 pm
Many questions now I have:
Above you talke about me getting angry. So, is it a sin to make people angry? To play them into their weakness. Or is the victim the only one who burdens the anger sin?
Don’t coaches use anger to push their teams?
I am sure there may be one coach that never has raised his voice but I bet he is still filled with anger.
(I think Jesus is the only one clever enough to motivate 100% with out using anger.)
Don’t players turn anger into determination to knock another guy’s head off?
I never envisioned the running back that out weight me with his head on.
Peacefulness would have prolly put me on a stretcher.
What if you were the umpire in a baseball game and your call angered one of teams coaches?
What if someone tells you to rob a bank or they will kill you and your family. (This was a recent news story and sadly won’t be the last). Has everyone involved sinned?
if so,
Then if you make someone angry how can you not have sinned?
January 26th, 2012 at 1:27 pm
Channing, plug in your comment and see if it works.
January 29th, 2012 at 10:39 am
By Request!
I believe reflection and self evaluation is a healthy first step in spiritual discipleship. We need to be dependent upon our friendships and spouses to provide feedback on how we conduct ourselves. But with all great journeys, we must have the courage to take the first step and maintain our focus so we can follow through.
January 27th, 2012 at 1:07 am
i’m going to respond to this. i promise.
January 28th, 2012 at 9:07 pm
I remember this I remember this… And then I did it my way … And I failed. Oh this is a great reminder thank you.