The path to humility

there’s this pastor-blogger i had been following online over the past couple of years.  he was young-ish, brash, confident, mega gifted, and the leader of a rapidly growing, hip church plant.  they went from running 50-60 to over a thousand in less than two years.

lots of new staff members.  innovative programs.  media attention.  travel and speaking and writing.  very impressive.

to me, he wrote about the growth with arrogance and bravado and a false humility.  i followed him with curiosity…a captivation with the great things that appeared to be happening…and a sick feeling that something was wrong.

unfortunately, i was right.  this summer, his affair with a female staff member became public.  so incredibly sad.

he’s lost it all.  he was immediately asked to resign from his church.  his marriage ended quickly.  he lost custody of his little kids.

i’ve never met him.  through his writing, i found him to be engaging, influential, creative, funny, powerful and authoritative.  but the conceit and egotism was always present.  i hurt for him as i read his blogging…long before his crash and burn happened.

within a couple of months, he was writing about starting a new church in the same town as the one he was fired from.  no kidding!

it looks like some friends must have got a hold of him and put him in a spiritual headlock.  he stopped blogging.  i hadn’t read anything from him in the past few months.  he surfaced a couple of weeks ago.  he wrote about some of the lessons he’s learning.

it’s really kind of sad-funny.  his insight into what he’s learning is profound.  but his arrogance and belief that god is preparing him to pastor another church quickly is stunning.  part of me wishes he would just be quiet, go dark for a few years and let god heal him.  watching him is like watching a train wreck.

the other part of me is watching (reading) to hear the lessons.   some of them will be worth passing along.

the thing that stands out today is how grateful i am to have people around me who will call my life into accountability…quickly.   the path to the pedestal is always close.  whenever i hover near the entrance, it seems like there is always someone who will pull my life and leadership back into perspective.

sometimes those people know exactly what they are doing.  to them, i say “thanks” for the commitment.

sometimes there are people who have no clue they are being used by god for my well-being.  to them, i am grateful for their sensitivity to the movement of god in their lives.

i’m pretty much a grateful guy today.

Day 3 – Divorce

for me, the most compelling teaching about divorce in the bible are the words that jesus spoke in matthew 19:

Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator `made them male and female,’  and said, `For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’ ?  So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

“Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”

Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.  I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”   Matthew 19:3-9

here are a few observations:

the first is the biggest and the foundation of any teaching or understanding we should have about divorce.  it is the heart of god on marriage.  in other words, you want to know what god thinks about divorce?  that’s the wrong question.  we need to be asking what he thinks about marriage!

the bible states that, according to god,  marriage is a uniquely created union that can only exist between a male and a female who leave their parents and forge a new union as husband and wife.  before that, they were individuals…free beings who could choose their own course without considering how their decisions would affect the life and future of a partner. but marriage changes that.

the two become one.  this relationship is not conditional.  it is permanent.  it is binding.  god says that the two, the man and the woman, become one flesh. the hebrew concept of the mingling of souls…the pressing together of bodies, hearts, minds, wills, and dreams.

to separate a marriage is like trying to “un-mix” two different balls of playdough after they have been rolled together and kneaded into a completely different shade…or trying to separate the individual ingredients of cake batter after it has come out of the mixing bowl…or attempting to put paint back to its original colors after two color tints have been combined, mixed, shaken and sealed in a can.  it’s absolutely crazy to think we would ever attempt to do these things…and that’s how crazy the concept of divorce is to god!

marriage…according to the heart and intent of god…is something that he brings together.  how dare we mess with something…destroy something…rip something apart…that god, himself, is the author and giver of?  i’m afraid that some of us need to rethink the whole concept of marriage before we dare undermine what god is doing.  maybe a thorough understanding of what marriage is would keep us from entering into it so casually in the first place.

second, as a point of reference, this passage makes it clear that god did not create, command, teach, institute, or even validate divorce.  in the law of moses in the old testament (which god delivered to moses), it merely states that god permitted divorce.  it was something that was happening, and god gave them a law to regulate it and give it definition and consequence.

finally, jesus states the only reason…the one and only reason that divorce ever happens.

this is getting good.  more tomorrow.

Do you Favre?

just got the news this morning that the great brett favre is making it official…he’s coming back for another year in the nfl with the minnesota vikings.  at least it appears that way.

the dude will be 40 years old this fall, as he enters his 16 season as a pro quarterback.  the average career for an nfl player is three and a half years.  unbelievable.

now, i’m not the president of the favre fan club or anything, but the longer this drama of his return goes on, the more i’ve been forced to think about some things.

when did your dream die?  or did you ever have one at all?

i’m inspired when i listen to favre talk about the game…the passion he has for playing…the calling he has as a leader of men and the drive he has to take a team to the ultimate goal.  i get fired up when i see a 40 year old guy commit himself to the discipline of excellence in his own body and mind to perform at the highest level in his field.

what about you?  are you pushing for the very best?  are you more fired up about the goals in your life now than you were 10 years ago?

i started over in youth ministry in texas when i turned 40 back in 1995.  it was the beginning of some of the most amazing experiences of my life…the best stretch of youth ministry in my years.  i was more excited, more focused and more committed than i had ever been.  (granted, it wasn’t nearly as physically demanding as playing quarterback in the nfl!!)

i turn 55 next week.  i’m more excited about what god is doing at north point than ever before.  can’t wait to see how the next decade turns out!

do you have any “god-sized” dreams that you need to start chasing?  or are you just existing from day to day?

maybe it’s time for you to get out of early retirement, get back on the playing field, and let god put some passion back into your game…

Some personal application

here are the main points of my sermons from the past couple of weeks:

• human suffering is an inevitable part of the human experience.
• god picked suffering as the way to fix the problem of sin and separation.
• jesus suffered and by his suffering we are redeemed.
• the resurrection shows us hope and possibilities beyond our wildest comprehension.
• the book of james starts off with the most basic reality of life:  it will be full of trials and difficulties.
• we are to count everything we go through…everything…all of it as joy.
• we do that so we will be able to persevere…more of the same.

that’s life and we better learn quickly that if jesus isn’t enough…not jesus plus a cure…or jesus and a victory…or jesus and more money…or jesus plus that new job…then we’re never really gonna understand what it means to be part of the kingdom.

for me, it’s that simple.

so here are some personal things i got out of my own sermon:

• i’m hurt.  i’ll get hurt again.  i need to get over it.
• sometimes i find myself living in the past.  see line above.
• i have a tendency to dwell more on problems than on solutions.  i need to shift the balance of  “thought power” in my life.
• honest…ruthless honesty…is the only way to live.  that doesn’t always mean to speak your mind.  it does mean that we need to be honest with ourselves and with god.  always.
• the phrase  “jesus is enough” can and should be the most practically powerful words in my vocabulary.
• when i sit and wish someone would say “thanks” for the good things i have done,  i wonder if it’s really god who i wish would say “thank you” to me?  for all the good things i have done for him.  what a simply repulsive thought!
• i am who i am.  if jesus is enough for me, am i enough for jesus?

the learning curve i am on these days is like the back corner of the texas motor speedway on lap 197…

Another Crazy Love thought…

here’s another francis chan quote from “crazy love”:

i quickly found that the american church is a difficult place to fit in if you want to live out new testament christianity.  the goals of american christianity are often a nice marriage, children who don’t swear, and good church attendance.  taking the words of christ literally and seriously is rarely considered.

you know, this is a scary thought.  not so much that we rarely take the words of christ seriously (as disgusting as that is), but that the church is a difficult place to fit in if you do.

it scares me to think that i might be a leader in a church that makes it easier for someone to fit in who doesn’t take jesus seriously, than someone who actually does.

lookers, helpers, or owners

i wrote about this a few years ago.  i thought i would revisit it today.  churches are full of all different kinds of people, but i have found that most church people fall into one of three categories: lookers, helpers, or owners. let me explain…

lookers are people that are seeking. they are looking for a place to belong. they are looking for friends. they are looking for meaning. they are looking for answers. they come to check things out and see if its worth it to keep coming back. lookers can stay lookers for a long time. months or even years. you can get to know them and they can get to know you. they join in. they come to events. they can even turn into regular attenders. but make no mistake, they are still lookers. they give a little money, a little time, a little effort. they show interest. sometimes, they even tease you into believing they are more then just lookers. but when all is said and done, they are still lookers. they can be members. they call the church their church. they might even bring more lookers with them. but they are still lookers.  i love lookers.

a second group of people are helpers. they are much more involved than lookers. these people can be counted on to assist. they don’t mind being asked to do things and are usually more than willing to help out. they are busy people. they have jobs and families and hobbies and homes and neighbors and vacations and associations and investments. they are busy people. they have to work hard to schedule “church time”, but they do it. they are people who will gladly give you their name and number and encourage you to give them a call when you have a need. they are friendly and helpful and will work hard to fit additional tasks into their busy schedules. the greater the need, the more willing these folks are to help. honestly, we couldn’t do the things we do without helpers. they are usually the largest group in a healthy church.

owners are the foundation of the church. they are the people who start things and finish them. they are the people who don’t need to be asked to do things. they are already doing them. owners are always thinking about their jobs. always planning. always strategizing. always wrestling with new ways to do the important things they are responsible for. owners are always there. owners are responsible…even when they are not there. they make sure the job gets done. they don’t call people at the last moment to fill in. you seldom have to call them because they already know what they should be doing. they are the people the helpers call.

they give the overwhelming majority of money in the offering plate. they give their own money (over and above their offering) to see tasks completed. they use their own stuff. their own homes are extensions of their church jobs. they make personal decisions in light of their ministries. they seldom get sick. they arrive early. they stay late. they make the biggest messes, but stay to clean up. they always have your back. they will climb the mountains with you. they will face the enemy with you. they are your team…your family…your brothers…your deepest friends.

are you a looker…a helper…or an owner? maybe it’s time to make a move…

10%…another look

i have almost a love-hate affair with the ten percent.  looking back, without being taught the discipline, i don’t know if i ever would have developed the habit of giving that i have in my life right now.  and without the regular pattern of giving, i don’t know if i would have ever experienced the grace to truly trust god to not only provide for every need, but also to live with the freedom to let go of money.

i guess the “hate” part comes from the inference that it is still a requirement from god.  and worse yet, a bar that all believers are to somehow shoot for.  giving ten percent is a time-honored tradition of the church and a sound financial practice (just ask your tax guy).  i’m not arguing this point.  it’s just that the tithe, according to scripture, is a little different than the tradition that has been passed down.

the children of israel were required to tithe.  in fact, they were required to give multiple tithes…as much as 23% percent and even beyond.  it was similar to our system of taxation.  it was not a matter of the heart, it wasn’t a matter of choice.  it was demanded and there was a consequence if the demand was not met.  

when jesus arrived on the scene, the jewish requirements for tithing were still in place.  but jesus brought a redefining of jewish legal requirement:

Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.  Matthew 5:17

historically, the church has emphasized that jesus did not abolish the tithe.  my problem with this is how the church has gone about picking and choosing which of the laws we were still going to conveniently require and which of the laws we were going to let slide.  and if we’re going to require them, why aren’t we really requiring them?  ah, law…so much more to say.  i’ll save it for later.

let me make this clear.  if you believe the ultimate goal set before you is to give ten percent of your income to the local church, somebody has sold you a lemon!  if you think that god is somehow pleased when you let go of a percentage of your money, it’s time for a fresh perspective.  jesus did not come to abolish the law of tithing.  i think he came to explode it!

he came to give us all a brand new take on what it means to know that god is the creator and owner of everything, including every dime we think belongs to us…what it means to live underneath the his lordship…what it means to seek the kingdom of god first…what it means to put our money where we say our hearts are.

the real question is not what percentage i put in the offering plate, but what percentage stays in my bank account.

what do you think?

BYOF – a final thought

(my apologies…but i am posting this same thing on my other blog for today…just to make sure it gets read.  it’s that important)

for the uninitiated, “byof” stands for “bring your own fork” and that was the title and content of my most recent sermon series.

…and it was a good series.  i see more and more people opening their bibles during the sermon and a new awareness of the need for taking personal responsibility for feeding oneself.  mission accomplished.

i am continually amazed at our ability to understand (and even act on) the concept of taking responsibility for our marriages, for our personal health and well being, for our education, for our front lawns, for our baseball swings, for…well, pretty much anything…

except our personal spiritual lives and our experience with god.

we are so quick to complain about how boring church is…or how we aren’t feeling close to god…or how we are struggling with sin or doubt or anger or forgiveness or lust or temptation or any number of other things…but we won’t do anything about it.

people just drift away into ambivalence about their faith.  or they go looking for a better church.  or they complain about not being fed well enough.

why doesn’t it occur to people that the answer is sitting right on their nightstand?  why the reluctance to open the book, take out a fork and start shoving it in?

man, it’s time to wake up!

we start a new series next week.  i’m pumped.  don’t forget you can listen to the sermons online at www.npcc.cc (click on resources).  pass it on to a friend.

oops…

i had a couple of thoughts the other night as i watched the girl gymnast from the united states experience her personal disaster during the team competition…

first, i am totally blown away when i think of the personal and family commitment that olympic athletes make to achieve their dreams.  years of sacrifice…childhood experiences, relationships, money, “normal” family life, and who knows what else…?  it’s beyond impressive…it’s dedication beyond words.

second, as i watched her crumble under the weight of competition and the pressure of international, national, team and personal expectations, i wondered what she must have been thinking.  was it all worth it?  what will my legacy be?  what does my team think about me now?  how can i show my face in public?  how will i ever move past this moment?  will i ever be the same?  as a parent, my heart broke for her.  as a competitor, i know the majority of athletes (all but an elite few) end up far short of their dreams and have to find a way to move on.  

as a follower of christ, the episode made my mind wander to the greater theme of god’s kingdom.  where is our commitment?  will we ever approach this level of athletic dedication in our spiritual lives…something of vastly greater importance?  can you imagine what things would be like if followers of christ were as sold out to biblical obedience and godly pursuit, as an olympic athlete is to the uneven parallel bars or the balance beam?

what would happen?  what would it take?  for me…?  for you…?

Breaking barriers – five

this whole concept of church membership has got me thinking this morning…

back in the day, being a member of a particular church felt different than it does now for me.  for the first forty years of my life, church membership was a pretty formal thing.  i can remember people walking forward at the end of the service, shaking hands with the minister, repeating their confession of faith, and placing their membership in my home church.  sometimes, they even brought letters of transfer from their previous church!

church membership was a badge of identity in the community.  i have filled out paperwork that asked what church i was a member of.  to play on the church softball team, the parks and recreation department required proof of membership (as if we would ever get ringers to play on our team!).  in the church, only members were allowed to vote, to hold leadership positions, to teach classes, to serve important ministry positions.  sheesh, i’ve even heard of churches that would only let members take communion!

now don’t get me wrong.  i’m not dissing church membership.  i am saying we need to take a careful look at it, though.  honestly, the bible never speaks of church membership. the bible speaks of the church as the body christ.  it speaks of those who follow christ as being members of one body and members of each other.  it doesn’t speak of membership, as we speak of membership.  with that said, membership, as culture has defined it, is still not a bad concept.

these days, it seems like churches fall into a couple of different categories when it comes to church membership.  first, there are churches that take sort of a hard line when it comes to membership.  people are not allowed to become members until they attend a certain amount of classes, agree to particular important doctrines of that church, agree to certain expectations (attendance, joining a small group, giving money, not undermining current leadership, etc…), and sign a document attesting to such agreement.  these churches then keep these documents on file for future reference.  sometimes, former churches are contacted for references or, at least, for insight as to why the “applicant” has left the previous church.  before membership can be finalized, the new people must go through some kind of interview process with a church leader to determine whether membership should be consumated.

other churches take a “softer” approach to membership.  no formal classes, no signed documents, no official interview process.  the same kind of expectations are communicated (attendance, giving, involvement in fellowship and ministry, doctrinal agreement), but no formal requirement.  sermons and classes teach commitment to that particular church family.  leadership encourages, but does not require, this commitment.

north point certainly falls into the second category.  now for the important questions for today…do you think this contributes more to a larger front door…or a larger back door?  what do you think we should change?  what should remain the same?