Some random…and some Rich

i’m up late tonight…by myself…with my thoughts that are random and uncontrolled…and pretty profound for me.  maybe for you, too.

writing is both therapeutic and cathartic for me.  i find myself writing things that expose my weaknesses and my pain…as well as my joy and the mundane.

in the midst of all the amazing good in my life (and there is a lot), everything is not perfect.  it’s not for anybody.  i just want to make sure you know that it’s not for me either!  there are things that i wish were different.  there are things that remind me of past hurt.  there are unpleasant consequences from past mistakes or unknown shortcomings.  it’s just life, i suppose.

it doesn’t effect my faith.  at least not negatively.  if anything, sadness causes me to draw close and experience the reality of a god who embodies a peace that transcends my understanding and brings wholeness to my bones.

tonight, i had a long conversation with an old friend who has been given a second chance at life.  his journey of faith has been a long and bumpy one.  questions and doubt have always been front and center.  his recent bout with the enemy has brought some clarity.  his search is yielding some relief…some answers.  i think a saving faith is taking up residence  in his soul.

i’m glad he never gave up the fight.  i’m glad god never let go of him.

there are others in my life that are on this same journey.  i hope their story has a similar conclusion.

here’s another rich mullins tune.  i told you earlier in the week that rich had an understanding of death that inspired me.  this is the song that cemented my belief that god was using him to speak to my soul, rattle my faith system, and give me a personal story that needed to be bigger than life…and death:

Elijah

The Jordan is waiting for me to cross through
My heart is aging I can tell
So Lord, I’m begging for one last favor from You
Here’s my heart take it where You will

This life has shown me how we’re mended and how we’re torn
How it’s okay to be lonely as long as you’re free
Sometimes my ground was stoney
And sometimes covered up with thorns
And only You could make it what it had to be
And now that it’s done
Well if they dressed me like a pauper
Or if they dined me like a prince
If they lay me with my fathers
Or if my ashes scatter on the wind
I don’t care

But when I leave I want to go out like Elijah
With a whirlwind to fuel my chariot of fire
And when I look back on the stars
It’ll be like a candlelight in Central Park
And it won’t break my heart to say goodbye

There’s people been friendly, but they’d never be your friends
Sometimes this has bent me to the ground
Now that this is all ending
I want to hear some music once again
‘Cause it’s the finest thing that I have ever found

But the Jordan is waiting
Though I ain’t never seen the other side
Still they say you can’t take in the things you have here
So on the road to salvation
I stick out my thumb and He gives me a ride
And His music is already falling on my ears

There’s people been talking
They say they’re worried about my soul
Well, I’m here to tell you I’ll keep rocking
‘Til I’m sure it’s my time to roll
And when I do

When I leave I want to go out like Elijah
With a whirlwind to fuel my chariot of fire
And when I look back on the stars
It’ll be like a candlelight in Central Park

this video was shot shortly before his death in a jeep accident in september, 1997.

Some more Rich Mullins

rich had a way of speaking about death that opened my eyes and gave inspiration to my bones.  for him, the final enemy was nothing to be feared, but the reward to be embraced.  i have never heard anybody write (or sing) with such confidence…such eloquence…such warmth.

it always gives me confidence.  and boldness.

here is one of the songs that brought relief in a dark time in my life:

Be With You

Everybody each and all
We’re gonna die eventually
It’s no more or less our faults
Than it is our destiny
So now Lord I come to you
Asking only for Your grace
You know what I’ve put myself through
All those empty dreams I chased

And when my body lies in the ruins
Of the lies that nearly ruined me
Will You pick up the pieces
That were pure and true
And breathe Your life into them
And set them free?

And when You start this world over
Again from scratch
Will You make me anew
Out of the stuff that lasts?
Stuff that’s purer than gold is
And clearer than glass could ever be
Can I be with You?
Can I be with You?

And everybody all and each
From the day that we are born
We have to learn to walk beneath
Those mercies by which we’re drawn
And now we wrestle in the dark
With these angels that we can’t see
We will move on although with scars
Oh Lord, move inside of me

And when my body lies in the ruins
Of the lies that nearly runied me
Will You pick up the pieces
That were pure and true
And breathe Your life into them
And set them free?

And when You blast this cosmos
To kingdom come
When those jagged-edged mountains
I love are gone
When the sky is crossed with the tears
Of a thousand falling suns
As they crash into the sea
Can I be with you?
Can I be with you?

today, as i read these lyrics one last time, it seems ironically beautiful that one who spoke so freely and confidently of death would greet it so early in his life…

Fear

i’ve got a whole lot of feelings about this swine flu thing…

school closures.  UIL competition postponement.  endless news reports.  footage showing school janitors wiping down the underside of desks.  no more cinco de mayo?

scare tactics?  over-reaction?  realistic concerns?  you can find people representing just about every different perspective.  i even found a website dedicated to the best swine flu jokes.  i guess we better send that link to the family that lost their baby.  maybe it will make them feel better…

my friend andrew pointed out the headline of today’s london times:  “94,000 people in london could die of swine flu!” talk about raising the level of fear!!  but here’s the rub, to quote my friend:

We are a fickle race, us humans. We are more inoculated, integrated, more armed with more prisons, and wealthier than any time in human history. Yet, we might just be more afraid than any time in history as well. Of course, our politicians exploit this, manage this, campaign on this, and win votes by this. Fear might be a more powerful motive than hope. What am I talking about? Of course it is. The audacity of hope has no greater foe than the predictability of fear.

interesting quote.  here’s another interesting reality:  since the outbreak (about a month ago), there have been 247 people on the planet die of the swine flu.  during the same month, there have been over 900,000 children under the age of five who have died due to poverty related illnesses, such as diarrhea.  that’s nearly one million children.  and next month another 900,000 will die.  and the same number the next month.

where’s the headline for that one?

this line of thinking raises so many issues for me…i think i want to get sick to my stomach…and not from a swine.

Why I preach

i preached today about how useless foundations and solid foundations all look the same until a time of testing comes and proves what they are worth.  the solid foundation that jesus speaks of in the sermon on the mount (and the one james writes about in the first chapter of his letter) is the radical power of a man who hears the words of god and then acts on them.  don’t just listen…act!

shortly after the sermon, my friend brandon found out that his father had just died in a motorcycle accident. tragic.  unexpected.    times of testing seldom give us warning.  most often, they attack us when we least expect it.  that’s why the foundation of obedience to the word is so crucial…so powerful.  without it, the words of god are…just, words.  no power.  no comfort.  no real stability in the face of earthquakes that rock our world. 

brandon just sent me a response to my text of condolence.  here’s what he wrote:  ”thanks.  i listened and now i am acting on it today.  i am with my mom now.”

james writes:

“But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it–he will be blessed in what he does.” 1:25

god will bless brandon.  he always blesses solid foundations.

it’s always good to be reminded why i preach.