Marriage Tuesday

trust me.  my goal is not to be controversial today.  my goal is stronger, healthier marriages.  that’s it.

according to scripture, i am the head of wanda.  scripture says it.  i believe it.

for the husband is the head of the wife as christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the savior.  ephesians 5:23

even though that’s the only place in the whole bible that says that the husband is the head of the wife, i still believe it.  the goal throughout my lifetime,  as the head of wanda,  has been to understand that title properly and biblically, and live accordingly.

the “traditional” explanation of headship (the one i was taught by my church and the one that is held by most conservative, evangelical churches) is that the husband is the spiritual leader of his wife and family.  hey, i don’t have a problem owning up to spiritual leadership.  i’m a pastor.  i have sold out and dedicated my life to leading people in their spiritual journies and being responsible for the care and equipping of the body of christ for life and ministry.  i don’t shy away from the responsibility of spritual leadership.

but i have two observations, though,  regarding applying the concept of spiritual leadership to the word head. bear with me.

the first  is a general one.  bible interpretors have always  had to work hard not to apply modern word definitions to first century concepts.  the discipline of sound interpretation always focuses on what the original writers and hearers would have understood the word to mean…in their context…before we place more modern or culturally relevant definitions to those concepts.

practically, what that means to me is this:  our culturally modern definition of the word head immediately conjures up the idea of leadership, ownership, boss, president, executive, responsibility, chief decision-maker, and the like. i’m not sure that definition is exactly what the apostle paul had in mind when he used head to define my relationship with wanda.

second, the definition of head actually appears right in the text, and traditionalists pretty much ignore it…favoring the more “culturally relevant” definition.  paul is clear what it means for the husband to be the head of the wife:

husbands, love your wives, just as christ loved the church and gave himself up for her  to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,  and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.  in this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.  he who loves his wife loves himself.  after all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as christ does the church– for we are members of his body.  ephesians 5:26-30

my role, as wanda’s head, is to love her…which means to always place her needs above my own.  to serve her and give my life to her.  to deliberately and willingly lay aside what i want in favor of what she needs.  according to this passage, she does not exist to cater to my dreams, my career, my interests…but rather, mine to hers.  her well being is to be my only focus…to help her become everything that god has called her to be.  it is my calling to affirm her and graciously submit my best interests to hers.  period.

if you want to define leader as servant, i’m all over the concept of being the spiritual leader. but leader does not have to be defined as decision-maker, boss, “i’m-out-in-front…you-follow-me”, the responsible party. that’s cultural.  and not necessarily spiritual.

what do you think our marriages would look like if husbands actually took the words of the apostle paul seriously?  what do you think  our marriages would look like if husbands actually followed the example of jesus… instead of the examples of corporate ceo’s, politicians, bosses and modern leaders…when it comes to defining the meaning of head?

men, we have a long way to go…

“pastor mike, pastor mike…” – seven

this past week while i was in colorado, i had the privilege of addressing a whole group of youth pastors on what stood out to me in the first seven chapters of the gospel of john.  even though it was a large chunk of scripture, there was one section that didn’t just stand out to me…it screamed!

in thinking about john the baptist, check out these excerpts:

There came a man who was sent from God; his name was John.  He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all men might believe.  He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light.  1:6-8

Now this was John’s testimony when the Jews of Jerusalem sent priests and Levites to ask him who he was.  He did not fail to confess, but confessed freely, “I am not the Christ. “ They asked him, “Then who are you? Are you Elijah?”  He said, “I am not.”  ”Are you the Prophet?”  He answered, “No… in the words of Isaiah the prophet, ‘I am the voice of one calling in the desert, `Make straight the way for the Lord.’ ”  1:19-23

Now some Pharisees who had been sent  questioned him, “Why then do you baptize if you are not the Christ, nor Elijah, nor the Prophet?” ”I baptize with water,” John replied, “but among you stands one you do not know.  He is the one who comes after me, the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie.”  1:24-27

To this John replied…He must become greater; I must become less.  3:30

john the baptist is the model for anyone who seeks to be a servant in kingdom.  it is never about us.  it is never about our reputation.  it is never about about the one speaks on behalf of jesus.  it is about jesus.

 

it’s his church.  it’s his rep.  it’s his agenda.

 

the pedestal that pastors perch on perilous.  some pastors believe they belong there.  some believe they have earned it.  some believe god has put them there.  some conclude that they are the holy men of god.  some believe they are to lead from the pedestal.  some feel that they can only be effective overseers if they are up in front.

 

other pastors are placed on the pedestal…by people who have an unbiblical and unhealthy expectation for what a pastor is supposed to be and do.  pastors are not to be honored any more than any other servant in the church.  pastors are not to be revered…only god himself is to be held in “awe”.  pastors are not to be lifted up…jesus said, “if i am lifted up, i will draw all people to me.”

 

my counsel to this assembly of youth pastors was to crawl of the pedestal…quickly…intentionally…before they fall off or someone shoots them!

 

pastors are good people who are called to serve…called to be a voice in the wilderness.  pastors are not worthy to tie the laces of the sandals of jesus.  pastors are leaders.  pastors are to lead the way in becoming less, so that jesus can become greater.

 

that’s it.

Hurricane Dolly

pretty excited tonight about going down to south padre island to do a little relief work for some people who were caught in the path of hurricane dolly.  george and joan shelley (mom and pop to angela, our children’s pastor) have a house right on the beach in padre.  it was hit pretty bad, but they have a friend whose house is in really bad shape with no one to help, no insurance to pay for damages, and getting worse each day.  

it just seemed like the right thing to do, so we’re going.  there’s six of us (maybe a few others will want to join in tomorrow) and it’s gonna push us all to the limit.  i’d sure appreciate it if you’d stay in dialogue with the father this week on our behalf.  no electricity, no water, 100 degree temps, off the chart humidity because of all the water build up, and they’re saying that there are snakes, poisonous insects, and bacteria everywhere on the island.  sounds like fun!

i’ll try to give a couple of updates during the week.  angela has her crackberry, so i might be able to write something.  if not, have a great week and i’ll reconnect with you on friday!

if you haven’t been keeping up with the devastation of this hurricane, check out this short clip: