Marriage Tuesday

with all this talk about divorce last week, i thought i’d give you some reasons why we’re still married.  not all of them.  just some of them:

  • from the very beginning of our relationship, divorce was never an option.  we ruled it out.
  • it’s always been about god’s reputation more than ours.  not just marriage, but pretty much everything we do.  we believe and teach that it’s his power working inside of us that gives us the strength to honor our commitment.
  • we made good choices when we picked each other.  never underestimate the value of paying the price to make wise choices before you get married in the first place.
  • we listened intently to wise counsel when we were young and newly married.
  • we’ve both read a bunch of good books on marriage…by people way smarter than us!
  • in our first five years of marriage, we made ourselves accountable to other couples…for our personal growth, as well as the growth of our marriage.
  • we made some goals for our marriage early on.
  • we each took ownership of our personal discipleship…our own prayer life…our own personal bible study…our own reading.
  • we shared the same ministry (youth leaders) from the very beginning of our relationship.
  • we found things we both enjoyed doing together…and then did them.
  • we waited until we had been married six years (age 27) before we had kids.
  • we’ve paid the price to really get to know each other.  i really admire wanda.
  • forgiveness was always present.  i’ve made a handful of pretty dumb decisions in our 40 years together.  every time, wanda has unconditionally loved me, helped me see myself more clearly, and never ever punished me.
  • we don’t ever raise our voices at each other.  part of that is because we both came from homes where yelling was part of regular communication… and we both hate it.  the other part is because yelling is not part of our personalities.  we are both pretty fortunate on this one.
  • we both love to talk…especially to each other.  staying up as late as it takes to work out misunderstandings was (and still is) a treasured value.
  • we have included people deep into our lives.  many people have lived with us over the years.  it always forced us to live in the open.
  • we don’t do the silent treatment with each other.
  • we are both really comfortable with a simple lifestyle.
  • we’ve always agreed on giving our money away…church offerings…people in need…buying stuff for friends and family…
  • we’ve never run from difficulty.  we’ve faced some really difficult things together.
  • we were serious about kingdom issues before we got married.
  • we share similar theologies and bible interpretations.  not exactly the same…but close enough!
  • our common love of youth ministry at a young age created definition in our relationship.  there has been nothing better for us than serving side by side all these years.
  • our kid’s lifestyles and choices never placed a burden on us or our marriage.  we are incredibly fortunate to have the boys we do.
  • we always agreed that people were more important than our things…a spotless house, a manicured lawn, fancy stuff…none of it has ever been all that important.
  • we are not afraid of death and both of us live with absolute confidence in our eternal destiny because of what christ has done.  because of that, it’s pretty hard to over-react to things that come our way.

on top of everything else, i’m married to someone who loves to watch sports (in person or on television), eating simple food, riding in a jeep, and doesn’t make me turn my music down.  i’m livin’ the dream…

how about you?  why are you still married?

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5 thoughts on “Marriage Tuesday

  1. we are 5 years into our marriage and didnt wait as wanda and mike did…i didnt think at 37 years and several doctors i could get preggy….well marty and i married 3 months and boom…but its been great…and he lets me have my animals inside the house…and sometimes on the bed…ooops

  2. I guess I’ve never considered “why am I still married.” In my mind there isn’t another alternative. Much like you and Wanda, I have never considered that an option. I took that “till death” part of the wedding ceremony very seriously.

    It’s amazing how the potential death of your spouse really drives that permanence concept home. It forces you to consider what life might be like without the one you love. Night after night of staring at the ceiling contemplating what that would be like left me with a deep appreciation for my wife and profound gratitude to God for sparing her.

  3. We are still married because
    my wife believes in ‘until
    death does us part’. Believe
    me, I have messed up big enough
    that I deserve to be left. But
    my wife has taught me that if
    you put God and His plan first,
    anything is possible, even
    foregiveness for things
    unforgivable. I am blessed to
    have such a loving wife, and I
    work every day to make sure that
    we never have to prove that
    divorce is not an option.

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