Marriage Tuesday

Wanda and I went to a movie yesterday.  Shock…not something we normally do, but it was a nice way to spend the afternoon on her day off.   We saw Blindside. Definitely worth seeing.

That’s not what i’m thinking about right now, though.

While we were waiting for the movie to start, we saw a preview for a movie that’s coming out in February…it’s called Valentine’s Day. It stars 15 or 20 really big name actors and, my guess, it is going to be a huge hit.   I don’t think I’m going to go and see it.   I saw enough in the preview.

From what I can tell, the movie is all about relationships and feelings and love and…couples hooking up.   And as I watched the preview, I found myself getting really agitated.   Not at the movie, but at people who are going to watch the movie and not be bothered by it.

Couples having sex outside of marriage is not much of a big deal anymore.  It hasn’t been for years.   It’s pretty much expected…in the movies…on television…in the music we listen to…at school…in the workplace…in the neighborhood… in bathroom stalls and underneath restaurant tables and in the back seats of cars.

Geez, some parents even express relief when they find out their teenagers are having sex… “At least he’s not gay”…or, “At least they remembered to put on condoms.”   What?

Real men speak of their sexual conquests.  Teenage girls still squeal at the sight of a hot looking guy.   Women dress to draw men’s attention.   Guys are losers if they are still virgins by the time they reach college.

Look, i’m no sexual prude.   I understand this is the 21st century.   We are the highly enlightened elite.   We apparently know better now.  I guess…

Also, I suppose we are the products of the slow erosion of morality in our world.   We are desensitized.   We’ve seen too much.   We’ve heard it all.   We see sex outside of marriage in our sports heroes and our favorite movie stars and our rock gods and our politicians and our teachers and our church leaders and our children and our best friends.   And we shrug our shoulders and go about our business.

So here’s what I’m agitated about:  Most married people I know have no idea why God designed sex for married people only. They can’t articulate the logic in god’s plan.

People ask, “If sex is such a great thing, why does God want me to wait until I’m married?”…or, “Why would God say that something so good is wrong?  This is what people who love each other do!”…or, “What’s the big deal?  We’re not hurting anybody…”

We tell our young people to wait for sex.  They ask us “Why?” We tell them that God says so in the Bible.   They ask us to tell them where it says that…and we say, “I don’t know.  It just does.” Really?  Is that the best we can do?

Here’s what I’m saying.  Married people need to stand up for marriage…the sanctity of marriage…the sacredness of the act of sex…the holiness of the union between a husband and a wife.

I’m not talking about civil union.   I’m talking about what it truly means to be one flesh.

Do you get what i’m saying?


5 thoughts on “Marriage Tuesday

  1. Preacha Preacha! Rock on Mike! I think we need to instill marriage and sexual abstinence into our children. I really haven’t got to experience this yet ( being that Nicole and I just got married back in June), but I absolutely will when we have kids. Thanks for being bold enough to post this post. Continue doing it.

  2. Most people have no concept of what “one flesh” means other than just sex. But you are right by saying/doing nothing to encourage no sex until marriage we are devaluing one of God’s greatest gifts.

  3. Great post!

    Its amazing how numb we have become to the sex that is constantly in front of us. Every time the boys watch the Disney channel for goodness sakes it right there in front of them. It may not be as direct and it may not be as scandalous but make no mistake it is there. I have an 8 year old asking me about Tiger Woods and the parental briar patch his transgressions are to explain. Transformers went from a silly cartoon with robots with horrible aim shooting lasers at each other into a soft porn movie featuring Megan Fox and a couple of filthy mouthed robot gogo dancers. You can’t even find a G rated movie to take your kids to anymore.

    I fully understand that it is MY responsibility to talk to my sons about sex. But me telling them how God feels about it and the effects that sex has on your life forever will never compare to how glamorous Hollywood makes irresponsible sex look. They make the fun and excitement that is sex look out of this world. It makes it look impulsive and that seeps into our choices. Unfortunately they don’t show the guilt of losing your innocence, they don’t show the regrets of a choice you can never undo, they don’t show the addiction that sex can turn into when it comes from a place other than where God wants it to come from and they don’t show the destruction and pain to family, friends and people in our lives that a life consumed trying to find the ever elusive movie “love” that is based on gratifications and feelings instead of God can cause.

  4. I agree with abstinence before marriage. but preaching abstinence with a ” I said so” and “your privates are going to fall off” is not going to work either. Nor will those stupid rings people wore a few years ago for a commitment with Jesus. It just made some easier to identify.
    And in real life, how many times have you got cornered in the game “What celebrity would you do if you had the chance”. “or telling someone else there is hot co-worker and your freakin’ married. Those little “innocent” things start to rack up.

    We as parents just need to show how great it is to be married to the person you committed to forever. Of course there are rough times but, Dang if all your kiddos see is just parents going through the motions, what do you expect their the dating/marriage life to be? Why would your kid want a crappy marriage. When you can have premarital sex for free.

    Raeshel and I got a awesome compliment from a great buddy a few years ago. he said, “I want what you guys have”. I can talk very passionately about this subject and not embarrass me or R cause we practice our marriage 24/7. So when you think no one is watching your marriage, someone is always watching your marriage. You have to do what God intended with it.

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