Marriage Tuesday

I asked the question a couple of weeks ago.

Why…in God’s economy…is sexual intimacy reserved exclusively for a man and a woman who are married to each other?

Have you ever really thought about it?   Have you ever considered the logic behind god’s plan?   Have you ever tried to explain it to someone?

Figured I would tackle the sex-is-only-for-married-people issue over a few Tuesdays.   Good for me.  Maybe good for you, too.

Here’s an insight into the issue from the apostle Paul:

The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body…Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never!

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.   Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;  you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

1 Corinthians 6:13, 15, 18-20  NIV

There’s a pretty powerful word that appears twice in this passage.   Both times it is translated sexual immorality. In the original language of the New Testament, the root word is “porneia”…where we get our word, pornography.

In the first century,  it was the word used to describe every kind of sexual relationship outside of marriage…adultery, pre-marital sex, sex with animals, sexual excess and indulgence, homosexuality, prostitution, incest, perversions and any unnatural sex.   Wow.

Older versions of the Bible translated the word as fornication. Now that’s an ugly word.

I realize that sex between un-married, consenting individuals  (who may or may not have a deep love and commitment to each other) is not necessarily ugly. In fact, it may even be wonderfully sensual and fulfilling…physcial ecstasy…and offering no apparent harm to either party.   Love might even be present.

But here’s the deal:  the Bible still calls it sin.

Paul says that when we participate in sexual relationships or experiences outside of marriage (by definition),  we are hurting ourselves.   It is a sin against our own bodies.   Something is violated.   Sacred ground is being invaded.   Our bodies are where the Holy Spirit resides.   And his home is where holiness exists.   Or, at least, it should.

As followers of Christ,  we are not our own.   We’ve been bought.   We belong to Christ.

So what makes sex outside of marriage sinful?   Why is it so wrong?

Next week, friends.


9 thoughts on “Marriage Tuesday

  1. As a newly-wed, I can understand why God intended sexual intimacy to be only for a married man and woman. It is so much more important this way, than what the world says is ok.

  2. Hmm. Who in the world is looking for a loophole? Your nailed if you try to have unmarried sex just ’cause it a sin.

    So back in the day it seems to me that sex was just to make more people. So the the woman would get pregnant have a kid then sometimes die. The man would move on and get married again and have another kid. Is there a problem nowadays because the Mom lives through the birthing?
    Is it man’s fault that God wired us to procreate? Isn’t our body Christ’s? How do you shut down that part of your brain? Would we have as much perversion today if when we had a child the Woman dies?

    The next weird thought is on the age of marriage. So we don’t know exactly how old Mary was when Jesus was born. The guess is she was a teenager. We know Joseph was older. Dude, he could have been just a few years older or he could have been 10s of year older. Creepy.
    13yr old and a 15yr old doing the dirty,BAD! A 15yr old and a 40yr old, WORSE! I’m just saying they were getting it on a lot younger then we do nowadays. Were kids smarter then? Then as the years passed became dumb and were not able to handle SEX and Marriage?

    I know this is a weird side ramp but, SEX is going to come up in my household Sooner than later. Maybe my second thought is for another blog.

  3. Wow… Brandon, even as your wife, I wonder where you come up with these thoughts!!!!

    I think that sex between unmarried people just causes probems. Look at our kids, they are having sex younger and younger…. The guys get cool points by getting a girl to do the dirty and the girl is stuck with a bad reputation…

    To me, the price that comes with sex before marriage is too high! Think about it, the shame, regret, and the other consequence of having kids too young… Sex should be fulfilling, joyous and FUN. There should be no regret or shame associated with it… I think that is why it is reserved for the bonds of marriage…. Even way back when, Mary was looked down upon when she came up pregnant and she didn’t even have sex! Think about Joseph’s response to her, he didn’t want to take her as his wife until the angel came and told him it was okay….

  4. brandon…if you ever do start your own blog, you should let your wife “ghost write” for you on the important stuff…


  5. I was just thinking the other day how much I knew about sex when I was Kyle’s age. I knew way too much! I will sit down with him soon and talk to him. I’m not going to break out diagrams and charts for him. But I will sit down and talk to him and tell him that he can ask me anything without me judging or getting angry. I want to be his source for information. I don’t want it to be Little Johnny down the street or some little girl in his class. If you want your children to make Godly choices when it comes to the important decisions in their lives then you have to give them the information they need. In a world where they will and are bombarded by sexuality and worldly examples you can’t send them blindly into the world and expect that their Sunday school teachers are going to teach them what God intends intimacy to be. At the age we start making sexual decisions we aren’t maturely ready to understand how those decisions can’t be taken back and they will affect your life and every single relationship you have for the rest of your life.

  6. Dude,
    I know this was a crazy string of thoughts. But that is what I typed. I ain’t taking it back. Sorry If am in left field. But, as I looked at several different versions of the bible. There were several ways those verses have been interpreted. NIV, King James, etc, But basically said the same thing.
    But what creeped into my brain was, why? Why is everything the way it is?
    Yes, I understand that unmarried anything has always been available to man.
    Yes, I understand that God intend for a married couple to enjoy each other (Proverbs 5:19)
    I could have said Yes, I agree Sin is anything that misses the mark. Unmarried Sex misses the mark.
    So, when i have to explain it to my kids about unmarried sex. I just say it is sin and read your bible. Will that be enough?

  7. Luke I hear you. I think I am responding to this post with our children in mind.
    Sorry, as an adult your are shafted if you don’t get why you shouldn’t have unmarried sex. If you can read and own morals, there is no reason for you to not understand why unmarried sex is sin. Do don’t do it, stupid.

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