Back to the discussion of why it’s so important to save sex for marriage…
Truth is, there are different kinds of pre-marital sex.
There’s sex between a man and woman who are in love with each other and see no need to have a formal, legal document to prove their love for each other.
There’s sex between a man and a woman who have no real love for each other and profess no lasting commitment. It’s simply recreational sex…for a variety of reasons.
There’s sex between men and women (usually younger) who intend to marry in the future, but currently see themselves as married in the eyes of God…and therefore place no limits on their sexual expression.
At times, pre-marital sex is expected…coherced…demanded…casual…deceptive…obliged. Guys often do it for completely different reasons than women. It has been said that a guy will express love to get sex…and a girls will give sex, hoping to receive love. I’ve seen that reality many, many times in my years of youth ministry.
For many…certainly most people in our society…the idea of saving sex for marriage is an antiquated and pointless maxim. It was something that people back in the dark ages valued, but far from the reality of modern and post-modern thinkers.
Marriage? Even the most liberal and free-thinking of people can see value in the institution. Financial. Child raising. Security. Legal promise keeping. But the only place a person can have sex? You gotta be kidding!
The past couple of weeks, we have looked at some specifics in the Bible for the prohibition of sex outside of marriage. Not the logic behind it, but simply the command. I want to start looking at the logic behind the standard. Here’s the first one:
Wanda and I didn’t have sexual intercourse before we got married. We both believed that was something that was saved for the wedding night. I am unbelievably grateful that no other man has ever been with Wanda. I am the only one. I’m sure she feels the same way about me.
But it goes deeper than that.
Other women (girls) will be other men’s wives someday. I can’t imagine the devastation of stealing that intimacy from another marriage…that unique and irreplaceable mystery from another couple. There is honor in protecting the sacredness of someone else’s future.
I’m glad no one stole it from Wanda when she was young. I’m grateful she never gave it freely to someone else as she got older. i’m equally glad I never stole anyone else’s or gave mine away freely to someone else. The sexual relationship Wanda and I have is ours…completely, totally, unfiltered, pure, clean, holy, fun, sacred, unique, exclusive, respected, esteemed, cherished, one-of-a-kind, distinctive, and anything but typical. It can never be duplicated. No one can imitate it. There are no outside expectations or comparisons. No history. No baggage. Only what we have created on our own. A complete original.
Honestly, who wouldn’t want that? Who wouldn’t say that was worth waiting for? Who wouldn’t want that for their own son or daughter? Oh yeah. There is deep logic behind God’s laws.
Some would say… “What’s the big deal? It’s only sex! If God created it and it’s so good, why do we need to hold back? Why do we need to limit it to only one person for our whole lives?”
We’ll look at that piece of lunacy next week.
* I am equally grateful that God gives unlimited grace and forgiveness to all of us who fall short of god’s expectations every day of our lives…