Our struggle with conversation

have you ever noticed that when it comes to conversation,  most talking is focused these things:

  • the things we do.
  • the things other people do.

why is it that we struggle so much with talking about the kind of people we are?

why is it that we struggle with talking about matters of the heart…mistakes we make…disappointments we carry…fears we have…bitterness we harbor…changes that need to be made…life goals to be achieved?

why is it so easy to talk about what we did during the day or what we are going to do this weekend or the next thing we are going to buy…but it is so difficult to talk about an empty marriage or a secret struggle or a frustration with god or a harmful temptation?

why do we avoid asking for advice or seeking the wisdom of others?

why is it so easy to talk about how crappy our day was,  but not crappy we are?

why is it simply easier to sink to the level of gossip and conversation about the lives of other people?

i talk to a lot of people these days who have a bunch of friends, but no substantial friendships. sad.

i talk to a lot of people who know what they are missing,  but seem to be powerless or motivated to do anything about it.   very sad.

i talk to many people who are either in denial or absolutely clueless that they are shallow and live their lives on the surface…and desperately need to go deeper.    devastating.

if you can be a better friend,  take the risk and make your conversations more meaningful.

if you need a better friend,  take the risk and ask.


One thought on “Our struggle with conversation

  1. I think one reason we struggle with getting into deep relationships with people is we don’t want to let them in that close. I’m fine hearing your secrets, hearing your hurts, your struggles and your shortcomings. But the fear is that if I hear yours that you might want to hear mine as well. You might find out that I’m just as screwed up if not more than you are. Friendship a real friendship is a pretty small ledge you step out on. The thing with stepping out on the ledge is that you are putting your faith in God to hold both you and the people you are deeply sharing your life with up on that ledge. You are putting your faith in Him that if you do fall you will fall as brothers and he will catch you. Sounds like a really easy test of our faith. So if that is the case why do I fail so often at being the friend I need to be? Most days I don’t even open the window better yet step out on the ledge.

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