“experience is the best teacher”
it sounds so good, doesn’t it? so practical. so logical. such timeless wisdom. the great roman leader julius caesar recorded the earliest known version of this proverb, “experience is the teacher of all things,” in ‘De Bello Civili’ (c. 52 B.C.). who am i to argue?
even though i see the logic and i will even go out on a limb and say that agree, in principle… i still have a major stipulation in my agreement. experience can be a teacher. it can be a good teacher. it can even approach greatness. but only if one thing happens.
you need to learn from it!
frankly, when it comes to marriage, i see people making the same mistakes again and again and again…never learning anything from their past blunders. here’s an even better proverb:
“only an idiot does the same thing and expects different results”
left to ourselves, most of us will just keep treating our marriages with the same old shabby neglect. poor listening. selfish behaviors. no conflict resolution. walls. insensitivity. careless words. thoughtless actions. boring. mundane. the same ol’…same ol’. lots of experience. no lessons being learned.
how can you break the trend? how can your marriage move beyond mediocre? how can these promises you made to each other (no matter when you made them) come alive? how can your marriage be the best part of your life?
stop believing that experience is the best teacher…and ask for help!
Where there is no guidance the people fall, but in abundance of counselors there is victory. Proverbs 11:14
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel. Proverbs 12:15
get it? invite others in. go to someone you trust. find another couple that you admire or look up to and invite them to dinner and ask them to listen and offer help. don’t be an idiot. sorry to be so blunt. but sometimes these things just need to be said.