What’s wrong with this picture?

so wanda gets some prescription medication from her lady doctor this week.

she hands me the instruction sheet that comes inside the box and asks me to read it and tell her what i think.   here’s a portion of what i read:

WARNINGS.  THE FOLLOWING WARNINGS, PRECAUTIONS AND ADVERSE REACTIONS ASSOCIATED WITH ***********SHOULD BE TAKEN INTO ACCOUNT:

  • Cardiovascular disorders
  • Coronary heart disease and strokes
  • Venous thromboembolism
  • Malignant neoplasms
  • Endometrial cancer
  • Breast cancer
  • Dementia
  • Gall bladder disease (wanda’s safe on this one…)
  • Hypercalcemia
  • Visual abnormalities
  • Elevated blood pressure
  • Hypertriglyceridemia
  • Hypothyroidism
  • Fluid retention
  • Exacerbation of endometriosis
  • Nausea
  • Vomiting
  • Abdominal cramps
  • Bloating
  • Cholestatic jaundice
  • Pancreatitis
  • Enlargement of hepatic hemangiomas
  • Loss of scalp hair
  • Pruritus rash
  • Hemorrhagic eruptions
  • Chloasma
  • Erythema multiforme
  • Retinal vascular thrombosis
  • Migraine headaches
  • Dizziness
  • Mental depression
  • Chorea
  • Nervousness
  • Mood disturbances
  • Irritability
  • Exacerbation of epilepsy
  • Increase or decrease of weight
  • Reduced carbohydrate tolerance
  • Aggravation of  porphyria
  • Edema
  • Leg cramps
  • Changes in libido
  • Hypersensitivity
  • Anaphylactoid/anaphylactic reactions
  • Increased triglycerides

wanda:  “so what do you think?”

mike:  “does it come, like, in a tube?”

wanda:  “uh-huh.”

mike:  “we have some ceramic tile that needs re-grouting in the spare bathroom.   i think we should use it there, instead.”

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4 thoughts on “What’s wrong with this picture?

  1. My favorite one I’ve read so far is “cardiac events” on a medication I was taking. What exactly does that encompass?

    I bet that’s some REALLY expensive grout.

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