Trouble sleeping

i’m not a great sleeper.   never have been,  really.   it’s worse now, though.

i don’t eat spicy food before i go to bed anymore…it’s  one of the things that suck about getting old.   i have a comfortable mattress.   snoring is not an issue.   our bedroom has three fans going at night to make it winter chilly and bring wanda some solid hot flash relief.   i’ve grown accustomed to the hum of the fans…music to my ears.   i don’t have incontinence problems.   yet.

no…my issue is a mind that will not stop working.   it is constantly in overdrive.   i’m not a worrier.   i’m seldom,  if ever,  stressed about anything.   i just don’t stop thinking.   i pray about the things i’m thinking about…then i go back to thinking again.

i think about important things.   things that need to change.   things i can’t change.   things that are not right.   things that need to get better.   things that cause problems.   things that affect my life and the lives of others.   i think local.   i think global.   things in me.   things in others.

i think about big things and little things.   i’m not restricted in my thinking.   sometimes,  my thoughts are wild and crazy…full of reckless ideas and possibilities.   it used to trouble me that the adult ADD pinball that was always working overtime  in my head was dishonorable to god…because i always have trouble keeping focus during my prayer time.   now,  i just embrace it…offer it to god…and accept that he is present in my sanctified scatteredness.

unlike most insomniacs,  i look forward to my sleepless nights…most of the time.   i love the time alone.   the time with god.   the time to wrestle with my faith and life issues…good or bad.   i love to dream at night (not the creepy kind…just the night equivalent of daydreaming).   i love the anticipation of the next day…even if it’s full of things i really don’t want to do.

so i have a question for you.   what keeps you up at night?


25 thoughts on “Trouble sleeping

  1. I am much the same way. I normally get the boys to bed around 9. Their bed time is 830 but I enjoy hangin’ with them too much to cheat myself of that 30 minutes. I’m pretty sure if my genes didn’t make them stupid the lost 30 minutes of sleep isn’t going to harm their education either. So after I get them in bed I watch TV for a bit. It helps me start slowing down the craziness of my day. I normally hit the sack around Midnight. I can’t go earlier. Its pointless and really just serves to tick me off at myself to go earlier and stare at the ceiling. So I go at midnight and its like I lay down and my mind is still going 100mph. I think of my day, my kids, my life, my faith, my work, who’s week it is to mow the church, did we mow all our customers we were supposed to, etc.. I think of all sorts of stupid crap. Seldom answer any of them. But I can’t help it. Then in mid thought I’m asleep. Next thing I know its 630am and my alarm is going off.

  2. The things that I shouldn’t worry about because I’m supposed to have put them in God’s hands. Not losing our vehicle, how to keep the electricity on, how to manage the next mortgage payment, and all things financial. Worry that I’m getting older and I still don’t know what God’s plan for me is yet. I know it can’t be my current life because I can’t believe He is that much of a jokester. Thankfully I have great kids so I don’t have to worry about them so much although I do because they are both on their own. I guess it’s all selfish worry that keeps me up at night. That and sometimes Larry’s snoring 🙂 He says the same about me.

  3. I can’t relate. I sleep hard and the only thing that wakes me up is having to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

  4. I hope I am not scoreboarding, but Raeshel and I have been talking before we go to bed almost every night. Whats jacked up, is we lose track of time and it’s like Midnight or later when we stop. It doesn’t help we start talking at 10:30. What’s worse is then I feel inspired and go practice for a while. It’s like the only time I have to myself is after midnight. So right before I actually fall asleep I ask myself, “Why did I stay up so late?” “I am not going to do this tomorrow night” Yeah right.

  5. The Rangers winning doesn’t help me either. I HAVE to stay up and finish the game now, whereas in the past I could turn it off.

  6. I hope I’m not scoreboarding. That’s kinda like saying I’m not going to say I told you so. So since you lite up the scoreboard. What are you guys talking about?

    Scott you are way too young to be getting up to go to the bathroom. Its really going to suck when you get old!

  7. Ha! we talk about marriage tuesdays!!! we bury whatever the topic is into the ground.

    Luke, I am scoreboarding. The rest of the story is we don’t talk during the day anymore.

    Scott, I had to wake up three times last night to wiz.
    “Ah you order Chinese food and did not pay”
    “You owe 55 dollar”

  8. I think we should all take the Lunesta sleeping pill together one night so we can see Abe Lincoln, and the Beaver talking on a stump. Then write on Mike’s blog the next morning.

  9. Scott better put on a diaper first and you aren’t going to talk to me all night. Last thing I need is you getting inspired.

  10. I’m so glad you wrote about this because I feel the same way, except, I could do a better job spending time with the lord. I’m up late everynight but it is sitting in front of the TV! I think about the same things and my kids are young so I always seem to have their lives on my mind and their safe well-being.

    No, I’m not sucking up to the pastor as the new guy either, we just seem to think about the same type of things to some extent.

    Thanks for the entry today

  11. My mind never shuts off. Just ask Brandon and he will tell u that. If you really knew me you would know that I am really scatterbrained to the point of being obnoxious.

  12. Enjoyed our week in Texas for Nathan’s wedding and a chance to worship with you at North Point….. nice to get a few faces to go with all the names I see regularly in the blog.

    Mike’s 3 fan comment and night thinking prompts my comments…. while we were having such a great time in Texas…. our R.O. water system’s water supply line broke and was spraying water under the kitchen sink. When we got home, water had flooded the kitchen, dinning room, family room and reached half way down the hallway. Service Master, our home owners insurance clean up service, took out the carpet, removed the standing water and placed 16 fans and 3 dehumidifiers in the wet areas…. this went on 24/7 for the next 4 days….our inside temps were just like we experienced outside in Texas … unlike you, we had to go outside to get cool. After 4 days the asbestos guys show up and turned off the fans and we couldn’t sleep because it was too quiet. Asbestos guys finished today and the fans guys are back…this time only 11 fans, but we are looking forward to a great night’s sleep. However our kitchen and family room are gutted and drywall is removed from the floor up 2 feet around the kitchen and family room walls. All said and done…. my wife Ellen is all smiles… she has wanted to remodel the kitchen for several years.

    We really enjoyed our time in Texas…. thanks Mike for the use of your guest room…. so great to renew our friendship.

  13. Dan, I will pray for you to have a quick remodel. I know from just finishing our house that there are headaches to come. It’s great you see the good come from the bad. I was so glad I got to chat with you when you visited.

    Mike, If I hijacked yesterday I’m sorry and will take off the mask today. I’m not saying it won’t happen again.

    During a point in College is was doing everything wrong. I was to blame for all of my mistakes with money,grades, friends,etc. So this would keep me up at night thinking I need to change tomorrow morning. I never changed for over a year and half. I would get so wound up at times that an evil by product happen. I had too much anxiety. I would leave my apartment and lock the door, then I would go back and check it again, then I would drive away a few miles then drive back and check it again. Sometimes I would get to campus and drive back yet again. When I would study I would have to reread a simple sentence up to 20 times. I was messed up.
    Over the years I have given up a lot to God and just the fact that life is life. I have some around me question when I say I don’t care. I think in their eyes it shows a sign of weakness. I’m glad I don’t believe that.

  14. Dan it was awesome putting a face to a name. Had a great time speaking to you and really enjoy what you write. Wish we could have spoke more.

    Kevin you will learn all to soon and Brandon you should know better that sucking up only ends you up making dump runs, fixing leaks in the Baptistery or hunting squirrels in Mike’s attic. Well all that and an occasional lunch so you can talk about other ways you can help out.

  15. You are only a suck up until you disagree with an issue on Mike’s blog. He can’t be right all the time 🙂
    Luke, If you fixed the leak thanks. I don’t want my amp fried.
    Next time you hunt squirrels lets cook em’ up. Them gooOOd eatin’s

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