some, maybe even most, of you know that i have a curious love-hate affair with the role of the pastor. i believe that some of the modern pastor’s role in the church is biblical, but i’m pretty convinced that a lot of it…maybe even the majority of it…is more cultural.
some of it is even a blatant disregard of scripture.
one of the things i struggle with the most is the inference that a pastor, by virtue of his calling, is somehow different than other people…that the pastor is the modern-day equivalent of the old testament priest, a holy man who is spiritually superior to the masses and automatically closer to god.
i won’t speak for other men who wear the title of “pastor” in their churches, but i will speak for myself. it’s important to me that you know and accept that i put my pants on one let at a time…just like you do. that means you might be surprised to know:
the temptations you face…i face and struggle with also…
i don’t have all the answers…and i’m really ok with it.
i have some serious attention problems…the older i get, the more i struggle.
i think a lot of the things we do in the church are pretty cheesy…and boring.
writing sermons does not come naturally for me…nor does public speaking.
sometimes i preach things that i still have questions about…but believe by faith.
just because i preach it, doesn’t mean i’ve mastered it.
sustained prayer is a killer for me…my attention problem often gets the best of me.
there are times i’m overwhelmed by the needs i’m surrounded by…and feel like giving up.
there are some days i don’t read my bible…and whole seasons where my reading is dry.
i really try to be the exact same person on sundays that i am at home.
i’m often pre-occupied and forgetful…especially on sundays. i need reminders.
following jesus still frightens me. surrendering my all is a constant battle.
there’s not enough time in my schedule to do everything i want to get done…and it frustrates me.
i think the church comes off as incredibly hypocritical and judgmental most of the time…and i’m pretty embarrassed about it.
i’m not afraid of dying, but i want to run from sadness.
i forgive others freely, but sometimes don’t know how to forgive myself.
can you relate? i hope so…