Pain meds

i’ve had nine surgeries in my life.   five ankle reconstructions.   one ankle “clean out”.   two knee arthroscopies.   one ruptured achilles tendon repair.   none of them were particularly fun.   i would like to avoid another surgery…of any kind.   i’m not holding my breath…

looking back,  the best part about the surgeries was always the pain medication.   being a non-drinker and having limited my drug use to legal prescriptions and the basic,  over-the-counter kind…well,  let’s just say my surgeries were where i got to taste the joy of intoxication.

the happy juice they give before the anesthesia is very cool.   i can actually see how people can get addicted to the buzz from alcohol and drugs.

don’t get me wrong.   this is no advocation.   i am not lobbying for the legalization of anything.   i’m just saying…

but better than the happy juice are the pain meds.   definitely everything they’re cracked up to be.   i’ve never really understood the high road that some people take.   “i’m not putting any chemicals into my body.”   “i just want to get off the pain medication as soon as possible.”

whatever.   not me.   gimme the stuff.

anyway,  the point is not about my drug use.   i’ll give equal time to the morality police some other day.   no…there’s something way more important.

we all use  pain meds.   the question is what are yours?   what do you use to mask your pain?   what is your medication?

you may not self-medicate with alcohol or drugs.   you may be using something far more deceptive and just as harmful.   are you using denial?   are you using anger?   do you push away the pain with sarcasm?   are you cynical?   do you gossip about others to cover your hurt?   do you carry around a judgmental spirit or attitude of superiority?

do you give others the silent treatment?   are you passive-aggressive and manipulative?   are you a workaholic?   are you habitual time waster? do you put up walls? do you blame others?

do you run from commitment?   do you cultivate an unforgiving heart?  do you hide behind busyness?   are you immersed in hobbies?

all of these actions are pain meds. they are all things we use to avoid the pain…to avoid facing the realities of our lives.

ruthless honesty with yourself and with god is the beginning of breaking your addictive behavior.   without it,  you will continue to hide the pain,  instead of experiencing healing.

maybe it’s time to get serious about your pain…and what you’re doing to hide it.

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19 thoughts on “Pain meds

  1. You’ve done hit too close to home. 25 surgeries and counting and none of them hold a candle to to the hurt life has brought. I’ll take the pain of surgery anyday! A quote from “Roadhouse” , “Pain don’t hurt!” Loss hurts. Emptyness hurts. A broken heart hurts. It’s always there…never goes away. You just learn to deal with it any way you can. You just let God wrap His arms around you and hold you and let His comforting arms ease your pain! No drug can can do it better! I know. Believe me!

  2. Hey, we’re tied… well I’ve had 11 but two were having babies, so since you can’t do that, I won’t count those, even those truly were the most INVASIVE surgeries I’ve had. Pain meds- you must have had some better ones than me, because I’ve never gotten a true “high” from them. They barely mask my pain. My emotional pain – to be honest, I think I’ve started just laying it out there. Tired of hiding behind the “I’m fine” walls because I’m not. When the depression hits, I sometimes have to hit the medicinal bank because the doctor tells me I’m chemically challenged. The whole what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger, to be honest… I think I’m fairly strong and I don’t want to gain any more of that kind of muscle. Let me rest a little and grow. But if we want to go with what are my emotional pain meds – sarcasm and laughter I guess. I wanted to say unforgiving heart, but I truly don’t think I have that. I am hard to hurt, quick to forgive, but unfortunately never forget and I guess that’s part of the cycle I need to break. I don’t want to be hurt again and again.

  3. I generally resort to busyness, which I don’t think is always bad. Sometimes working on a project isn’t a mask, but a way for me to work through something.

  4. I only want pain meds to keep me from avoiding the initial pain. I would never want to have surgery without them. However, I’m the person who wants to swallow as few as possible post-procedure. I think the reason I’m this way is because I don’t want to be out of control. Which brings me to my observation about what I do with emotional pain. I hide in the context of busyness.

  5. I was blessed and cursed with a laid back personality. The little things that weigh down most people, well they just don’t affect me. I don’t get overwhelmed by life. I’m not a worrier. I realize that I can only do so many things in one day and so I prioritize my things and get as far as I can on my list. What I don’t finish will still be there in the morning when I wake up. I’m extremely independent and hardly ever ask others for input or advice. The cursed part comes when something comes up in my life that I can’t just file away on a list and deal with tomorrow morning. The big things! The things that I can’t figure out on my own but don’t know how to communicate it because I have never been an open person.

    I mask my pain with busyness. If I stay busy enough I can check things off my list and not have time to think about the junk in my life. If I work hard enough and make enough money things will be better. I mask my pain with my kids. They are my crutch. They bring me happiness on the days that I don’t want to face my pain. They make the bad crap not seem so bad simply because they are so good. I mask my pain with sin. Instead of going to God who is big enough to handle my issues I decide to turn to my own selfish and greedy needs.

  6. I LOVE the pain med. I get from the Dr. for my back pain.
    I HATE the muscle relaxer (you guys have seen me on this stuff).
    Sometimes I wonder if I should be more adult like. Like I should WORRY about my kids college, my kids braces, my kids car, my 401k, my health, my wife’s health, my yard, what my friends think. Don’t get me wrong, based on the above list, there are goals and tasks at hand that I succeed in and I fail in. That’s life.
    Sometimes I think there is something wrong with me because issues don’t tear my insides out. Sometimes I think that because I don’t wear a suit that I need to turn it up a notch because I am not grown up yet. Like there is some kind of mission accomplished at the end.
    Dang, it sure does seem like life is about money. Can we really just say “it’s in your hands God”?
    Luke, I don’t know. I know you fairly well and I know me very well. I never think I am too laid back. I think most are too uptight that make us look laid back to the point of looking like we don’t care.
    You know what. I am not trying to be someone. My wife can attest I am the same person with anyone I met. I don’t care if I meet you at a stuffed up church or a bar or you are sitting at a country club or playing a slot machine or even at a funeral. I will always strive to be the same person.
    This is my diet that makes me healthy. Never be fake.
    With all this being said. I guess if being laid back is a medication, then I guess I don’t want to grow up.
    You know what…slap the vein and put the IV in. I’ll be mature when I am dead.

  7. I’ve tried the “it’s in your hands God”, but… he doesn’t answer the phone when the bill collectors call. He doesn’t turn the electricity or water back on when I can’t make the payment. and he for some reason hasn’t made my mortgage payment so that now I’m at risk of foreclosure again. I’m not sure what he’s waiting for since I know he has the power to take care of all this, or if he’s trying to tell me how to take care of all this and I can’t hear him through all the other noise, but yeah I’m a fixer. If God is taking his time, I’m going to try to make an effort. Unfortunately my efforts are failing, which I know is because I’m not depending on God, but yeah.. what to do..

  8. I also think I’m pretty laid back..I haven’t grown up. Maybe that is my problem, or I should totally revert back to being a child… ah, I never really got to be a child. I think that might be the root of my problem.

    Let’s talk about Mothers Mike… I can keep the blog going for HOURS.

  9. I guess I just sit back and watch people worry themselves until it makes them sick and I just kinda laugh. They get so worked up that if they don’t get this done or if this doesn’t happen that the world is just going to suddenly explode. So they finally get that emergency taken care of and there is just a new sky is falling problem for them to worry about. Most of the time if they would just slow down and organize their lives they would see how most of the things they are giving themselves (and everyone around them) ulcers about won’t make half a crap tomorrow. Its just reallly not that important. If they would shutup for half a second they might actually figure out a way to save the world from the crisis of their day/hour/minute and give everyone else around them a little stinking peace and quiet.

  10. Lol, Luke you know people like that? Except for talking about some of our issues out here on Abbott Mike’s blog (tehehe) I think I’ve hidden most of it behind a wall. So I can’t say that I’m that person. I’m trying to think of someone in my life that gets that worked up. Even when my kids were home, I didn’t do the overscheduling Mom thing with the sports. They picked one and we went with that. and Christmas… ah those people, who have to deal with the parties and the cards and the baking and the…. yeah, okay, I know some of those people. Not my thing. I’ll go back and hide behind my wall again… for a little while.

  11. This post and the comments have been incredibly helpful to me. I’m kind of working it all out backward, though. I’ve been wondering where my judgmental, superior, and passive-aggressive behavior has been coming from, so I could try to deal with it, but I haven’t been having much luck. Now I think it has to do with pain that I’m not dealing with.

    So, how do you deal with pain…in the right way?

  12. I don’t know that there is a real “right” way. There are surely a ton of wrong ways to handle pain. Everyone is different. The way Brandon and I handle pain would be totally different than a worrier. Heck even the way Brandon and I handle our own pain would be different from each other. The spiritual feel good answer is to say give it to God. While there is a heck of a lot of truth to that I don’t think that answer helps someone that is broken. I think you have to end up at God and you have to take the shortest most direct route to Him to ever fully get past your pain but it is by no means easy.

    For me I try and help others. It helps me put in perspective how petty most of my pain is. What gives me the right to pee and moan about my sorrows when others have lost someone they love? How can I cry about my finances when people are struggling to feed their families because they are unemployeed? How can I ask God “why me?” about my pain when the biggest question I will ever not have an answer for is “why me?” for His Son.

    I don’t have pain. I have oppurtunities to show God’s grace and mercy.

  13. For me, I know when I get judgmental or superior it is usually when I am trying force my opinion or my answer on someone and make them believe what I say is fact. My opinion should be just my opinion. I have no right to bend someone’s arm.
    At the same time when someone is trying to force their opinion on me I can’t say you are an idiot and I don’t believe that. I just have to know that is their side of the story.
    I don’t need people to believe the sames things I do to feel good about myself.

  14. ohmygosh, I said widdle bitty on another web site. Brandon, your SON rubbed off on me… he made me revert to mommy talk!!!

  15. The hardest part for me is identifing the pain. I know what I do to mask it….. I eat! When I can identify the source of the pain I can usually find better more holistic ways to deal. I try to get myself connected to God but I have a very weak prayer and devotional life. My appitie for food is much stronger. Somewhere in the Bible it says something about having two master and how foolish that is. It says “You will Love one and Hate the other.” My prayer is that I will someday get better at choosing God as my master.

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