back in the late 70’s, i was introduced to a book called the christian family, by larry christensen. the words he wrote back in 1974 are as true today as they were back then. this quote (and others like it), helped shape my understanding of basic theology…as well as providing a foundation that wanda and i have built our marriage on for the past 35 years:
Marriage does not depend upon love for its continued existence. Rather, the love depends upon marriage for its continued existence.
Love should never be allowed to tyrannize a marriage and threaten its dissolution. Couples who come to the despairing conclusion that “we just don’t love each other any more”; should be told quite simply, “Well, start learning!” When we have entered into marriage, God commands us to love one another.
Love, from God’s point-of-view, is not the basis for marriage, but the issue or outcome of a successful marriage. It is far more subject to the will than we suppose. We help cultivate and develop love because we set our mind to do so. In marriage, we are not the helpless pawns of love. Rather, we train love to be that willing servant of our marriage.
here is truth for a lifetime: love does not sustain your marriage. love depends on marriage for its definition…its significance…and its continued existence. this quote is absolute brilliance!