Marriage Tuesday

today, i helped corey out by taking his truck in to the chevy dealership to get some recall work done on his brake lights. when they explained there might be some complications in the recall, i asked how much they would charge just to do the work. the service guys all looked at each other and agreed that it would only cost about $125.

i decided i could come up with a better plan. i walked out and went over to the parts department and found out the part that needed replacing only cost $12. i bought it, drove home and figured out how to install it myself. it took about thirty minutes. and it took that long, because i didn’t know what i was doing until i got going.

$125 for a $12 part that takes about five minutes to install? i’m in the wrong line of work!

but it got me thinking. i think sometimes we overcharge in our marriages.

there’s no question that we’re all a bunch of screw-ups. we all make mistakes. we all do things and say things we wish we could take back. we exert our will. we manipulate and control. we forget. we overreact. we get angry. we act selfishly and prideful. we’re insensitive or caustic. hopefully not all on the same day…

…and when our partner makes those mistakes, we make them “pay”.

it may be with anger…or bitterness…or silence…or withdrawal…or withholding sex…or deliberate unsubmissiveness…or blatant retaliation.

you can call it whatever you want, but in my book, it’s simply overcharging. it’s making our partner pay $125 when the cost of the repair is nothing more than $10, plus parts.

nobody’s perfect. we all need grace. let’s make sure the time matches the crime. let’s be partners who specialize in giving room for mistakes and compassion for falling short.

that’s what love is all about.


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