Enough for today

i couldn’t wait to grow up.   grown ups could do whatever they wanted.   they could go places.   they could stay up as late as they wanted.   they could drive cars and buy stuff.   i couldn’t wait.

give us today,  our daily bread.

study.   study.   study.   get finished with college so i could get a real job and get on with my life and my future and my plans.

give us today,  our daily bread.

i thought my wedding day would never arrive.   the idea of spending all my time with wanda was the greatest thought in the world.   never having to drive home to separate locations again.   we could barely wait until our wedding night.   talk about anticipation…

give us today,  our daily bread.

we went from dreaming of playing house together to growing weary of apartment living almost overnight.   getting into our own house would solve every problem.   more space.   room to grow.   instant entertainment.   credibility.   i couldn’t wait.

give us today,  our daily bread.

nine months?   it’s going to take nine months?   this is going to be the longest nine months ever…

give us today,  our daily bread.

i can’t wait.   i can’t wait.   for a raise.   for a vacation.   for our next kid.   for a new job.   for that new car.   for christmas.   for new neighbors.   for football season.   to turn 13.   to turn 16.   to turn 21.

give us today,  our daily bread.

when will my life turn around?   when will my problems go away?   when will things finally get better?   when will i ever learn?   when will the pain go away?   when will…

give us today,  our daily bread.

we’ve just got to stop being obsessed with tomorrow.    it will arrive soon enough.   or not.   today is what we have.   bread for today is what we’re promised.

we don’t extend ourselves today,  because we are too afraid of being depleted tomorrow.    we struggle with generosity today,  because we are afraid we won’t have enough for ourselves tomorrow.  

we are drawn to protect and save and conserve and hoard our time and money and possessions and energy and emotions…because,  deep down,  we struggle with belief.

the one who rose from the dead and has all authority and is worthy of our trust says that we will have everything we need to make it through today.   and if we live another day,  we will have enough to make it through that day,  also.   and if we are blessed enough to make it to another day,  we can have confidence we will have enough to make it through that one, too.

that’s his promise.

death always looms in the darkness.    disaster and failure are never far.   last week,  you didn’t know what today would be like.   you didn’t even know if you would have a today.   but if you know god,  you had a promise.

enough for today.   that tastes pretty good right now.

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One thought on “Enough for today

  1. I don’t know that I have ever struggled with contentment in my life more than I have the past couple of years. It is something I had never dealt with until recently and I can honestly say it is one of the hardest battles I’ve ever had in my life.

    I don’t just want the bread. I want answers with the bread and that’s just not how this thing works. So I fight and argue with God about it. I try and force my faith into something I’m comfortable with and something I can control and again it doesn’t work that way. So I’ve spent a lot of time over the past years sulking in the spiritual corner with my arms crossed and tongue stuck out at God because He isn’t giving me my way.

    Sorry I missed your sermon yesterday. I’ll have to listen to it next time I’m having a temper tantrum. So you better post it quick because I have a lot of them!

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