Marriage Tuesday

according to my watch,  it’s still tuesday.   so here goes…

i’ve seen a lot over my lifetime.   so many things have changed.   and so many more will.

i have no desire to get all political tonight.   i realize we live in a culture that has slowly,  but surely,  redefined the meaning and purpose of many of the things i have built my life on.   honestly,  a lot of those things needed to change…because they were wrong.   others,  though,  i’m not so sure about.

marriage,  in my book,  is a biggee.   marriage,  as a sacred and well-defined institution,  has taken a lot of shots.   a legal and binding relationship of love and oneness,  both spiritual and physical,  between one man and one woman for all of life is a rare breed.   and getting more rare as time passes.

the percentage of high school kids who have sex is staggering.   the percentage of college kids who don’t have sex is microscopic.   the chances of a young adult marrying someone who hasn’t had sex are slim to none.

more and more and more couples live together before they get married.

…if they get married at all.

the advantages of being legally married are not nearly as great nor as compelling as they used to be.

pursuit of personal happiness has replaced promise-keeping as the dominant value in marriage relationships.

divorce,  divorce,  and more divorce.

the unique blending of a man and woman has grown to be seen as simply one of many types and styles of marriage options.

civil union and sacred union drift farther and farther apart.

children growing up with a loving and fully invested mother and father is no longer billed as the healthiest model for raising healthy children.  it’s been replaced by a more open and realistic model:  a loving home…no matter who or how the parental units define themselves…is all that is needed for a grounded and well-adjusted kid.

spiritual oneness is no longer defined by any kind of objective standards.   spirituality has devolved into an individually-defined form of personal mysticism…and because of that,  it offers little,  if any,  structure or value to the marriage relationship.

growing old together is seen as more of a cute anomaly in our culture,  rather than a respected  goal one aspires to reach.

for all that we know about love and commitment and serving and giving and surrendering to the needs of our partner in sacrificial submission,  love is still defined as a feeling.   and consequently,  marriages are abandoned because they don’t feel love for each other anymore.

look,  i could go on.   but all i’ll do is frustrate myself.   and probably you,  too.

there is so much i love about living in 2012.   i’m amazed by how much smarter i am…how much i’ve grown and how enlightened i am.   i hope i continue to study and listen and grow and change.   i hope i never arrive.   i want to always remain a student and open to new and fresh ideas.   i hope i never become that old guy who is set in his ways and is always right.

but there are some ideals that just don’t need improvement.   sorry.


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