because i have spent the majority of my adult life being a teacher of god’s word, i have spent less time on the receiving end of good teaching and preaching.
my study and preparation time has always been my primary source for learning and growth. but i’ve always needed the sermons of others…to teach me…to encourage me…to kick my butt.
that’s why books have been so important. they have been the sermons i listen to. they have been a significant spot where i go for truth. they are my friends and my teachers. oxygen for my soul. life for my marriage.
in the early years of our marriage, our personal lives were messes…but we didn’t realize it. through the wise counsel of others that we trusted and opened our lives to, we began to see ourselves and our marriage for what we really were. and that was the time in our lives when we were challenged to start reading books.
the first book that made a difference in our marriage was…and is still is…one of the two or three most significant books i’ve ever read. effective biblical counseling, by larry crabb, changed everything.
let me say this: EBC is not a book about marriage. it’s a book about counseling. it’s a fairly technical book. it’s a book that breaks down the nature of biblical counseling…as well as the nature of personal growth and maturity. it explains the basic problems that people have…and what to do about it.
it’s straightforward. it’s blunt. and for a person that is concerned about getting to the root of the problems associated with personality development and healthy relationships, it’s money.
crabb’s explanation of basic assumptions was revolutionary to us. grasping the idea each of us operates from a set of basic assumptions about god…and life…and relationships…and personal worth…and significance…was the light bulb moment of my life. and realizing that some of my basic assumptions (and wanda’s as well) were totally wrong was the truth that each of us needed to face the reality of the faulty foundation we were building our marriage on.
if i could step into your marriage and force-feed this book into your reading routine right now, i would.
and you would thank me for it.