If you must know

i’m going to weigh in on the chick-fil-a stuff.  not much.  but enough.  here are some things i’m feeling tonight.

i hate that i feel compelled to do this.  

the whole thing makes me really, really sad.

i seldom ever hear or see anyone who claims to be a christian, when interviewed or questioned on television, who accurately represents my faith and practice.

it crushes me to realize that differences in politics and ideologies and values must ruin friendships… that honest, thoughtful discourse between people who fall on either side of the homosexuality debate,  is seldom done with love, respect, openness and grace.  by either side.

i’m tired of people saying “the bible says…” or “god says…”, but have no real desire to study it deeply…with sincerity and integrity.

i read a lot this week about the chick-fil-a thing.  some stuff i totally disagreed with.  other things caused me to nearly stand up and cheer.  some of it was so well-written, i’ve decided i would just embarrass myself if i tried to write with such clarity and passion on this subject.

so if you’re interested, here are links to three authors that i found to be particularly compelling in their position.  i didn’t necessarily agree with every word that was written, but i am a way better person for having read what they wrote.  they challenged me…made me uncomfortable…taught me some new things…and inspired me.

i hope you will let their writing do the same for you.

Rachel Held Evans – Some words for Christians on both sides of the Chick-fil-A war…

Matthew Paul Turner – 5 reasons why the church failed yesterday…

Mere Orthodoxy – Friendship, Opposition and Chick-fil-A…

we have a long way to go.

6 thoughts on “If you must know

  1. I read the 5 reasons the church failed and I think the guy is way off the mark.

    The problem is Christians are being attacked constantly for their values and they are being attacked for sticking to their beliefs. The CEO of Chik-Fil-A was villified for speaking plainly about his beliefs, but the company itself does not discriminate.

    Being against gay marriage is NOT the same thing as hating homosexuals. However, the new tolerance agenda states that you must never say one cross word or you are a bigot. It is a naked attempt to silence anyone who does not 100% support their agenda.

    I won’t demand everyone become a Christian. It goes against everything the church should stand for. Why does anyone have to keep quiet about gay marriage?

    The author was correct, it was not a show of love, but at the same time Christians have been browbeaten into corners long enough. In a lot of ways we are being told to shut up and sit in the corner.

    At some point, we must speak up. We will be hated and derided for it, but we were under attack anyway. No one said they hated gays and not all of the people participating were against gay marriage. A lot of ordinary Americans were concerned about the chilling effect of government trying to find a way to silence a business that did not stick to the rules of political correctness.

    What Chik-Fil-A appreciation day represented was a stand up to bullies. Not gay marriage. A lot of people are tired of the bullying and I think the backlash is starting.

  2. I bet McDonald’s is Glad they don’t have to defend how bad the “Happy Meal” is for a few days.

    Or Maybe Target can stir the pot and keep this thing going through Christmas.

    Maybe Movie stars can break out their fur coats for a few days.

    Tryvon Martin, Mexican Boarders??

    We all need Ritalin.

    I love this country.

    Red Solo Cup

    1. All I know is Chik-fil-a made bank. $$$$.

      So when I go through the drive thru at 10:59 on a Saturday morning, they will hand me all the remaining chikn biscuits that are left, for FREE!!!

      And just by us reading and posting our opinions to this blog, we have continued to feed the machine. period

  3. For the politicians in any city to say they will not allow a business in their city in these economic days over a statement is beyond stupidity. Are they not going to allow any new churches as well because they hold the same “hate-filled” ideals? They want to stand on their high horses and scream out volatile rhetoric about morals and discrimination as they drive by strip clubs, porn shacks and crack houses on their way to their bully pulpits. It’s a freaking joke!

    It is just as big a joke the way a huge number of “Christians” and their “Bible says so” bullcrap stand in judgment of others. We put marriage up on this huge moral pedestal and say there is no way people who are “living in sin” can ever experience that because the Bible says so. Well it says a heck of a lot about other sins as well……. Divorce, adultery, greed, etc….. It’s not ok for Bob and Dan to get married because they are gay… But it’s ok for Bob and Jane to get married even though they are living together and having premarital sex?

    It’s a slippery slope we are treading on and unfortunately far too many of us are falling down the slope and getting mud all over ourselves and knocking down a whole lot of others that are trying to climb up the slope with us.

  4. “it crushes me to realize that differences in politics and ideologies and values must ruin friendships…”
    That is my ‘favorite’ part of this post, because you’re right, it does, and it sucks. On this particular hot topic, I’ve found myself thinking “well, I guess I can’t be friends with so-and-so anymore” because of a stance or comment they’ve made that seemed absolutely insane to me. I hate that my gut response is to restrict relationships with people who don’t hold my same world view. Talk about a dose of self-awareness. Yuck.

    On the other hand, I find myself thinking “are there points where these differences should ruin friendships? Are there issues that big?” I think there are. I don’t know if this is one of them or not. But I’m glad you touched on the reality of what these conflicts do to people. Thanks for making me think.

    On a lighter note, if you can call it that, my grandfather thinks Obama somehow caused the Joplin tornado, and an “old black woman” who bought all the hams at his local Wal-mart is responsible for problems with social security. And though there is no end to his political diatribe, I haven’t cut him out of my life, so I guess there’s hope for relationships yet. 🙂

  5. This evening I visited my local CFA to see what was happening. The restaurant was fairly busy, but not full. I heard many comments by patrons of the restaurant as I walked around and as I exited the building, one gentleman was on the phone with what I assume was his wife. He was explaining to her that there didn’t appear to be any strange people in the restaurant and it was safe to come in with the kids. There were signs posted on the doors listing the items CFA was out of for the evening due to the increase in business. The people reading the signs were raising their arms in victory, giving knowing smiles and head nods to each other and one man patted his wife on the back saying “great job chick fil a”.
    As I walked away, I saw four young men who were clearly not with the people patronizing CFA. I stopped to talk to them. The oldest one of the group was 21. HIs mother passed away when he was 17 and when he told his father that he was gay, his father threw him out of the home. He did not finish high school. The other three were all 18 years old. One of them told me he quit school in his senior year because he was so harrassed at school. The other two young men told me they graduated high school but things were sometimes difficult at home. I hugged them all and gave them my phone number and directed them to our local Wendy’s. I walked away from them to my car heartbroken.

    I was reminded of the story in the news last week of the South Carolina parents who gave their 16 year old daughter up for adoption because she identified as a lesbian. The parents had been counseled and prayed for by their pastor and congregation, and because “they could not live with or agree with the lifestyle their daughter chose” they gave her to the state.

    Much is being said about Dan Cathy’s freedom of speech and the Christian community being attacked for their beliefs. But I can’t recall hearing or reading about one heterosexual child killing themselves because they were bullied and taunted over perceived sexuality by a homosexual. Gay youth are more than 5 times more like to commit suicide than their straight counterparts. I don’t recall Mr. Cathy living his life in ‘the closet’ as our gay community has done for generations. In fact I don’t recall Mr. Cathy being told he can’t speak freely about his beliefs!
    But I do remember the Million Moms calling for JC Penney to fire Ellen Degeneres because she was a lesbian. And they called for a boycott of Macys for picturing two dads together in their fathers day catalog and for picturing a same sex couple on a wedding cake in the same catalog. The Million Moms nearly lost it when another company pictured a mommy painting her 6 year old son’s toenails pink.

    Dan Cathy as the COO of Chick Fil A has directed the donation of MILLIONS of dollars to groups and organizations that promote and endorse inequality and discrimination toward a group of American citizens. In fact, CFA donated $2,000,000 dollars in 2009 to these groups. I can’t help but think about life affirming work these funds could have been doing. I even wrote Mr. Cathy and the board appealing to them to make a significant donation to any number of life affirming gay youth organizations such as The Trevor Project.

    When I look at the photos being posted on various sites about the people that were waiting in lengthy lines at CFA restaurants all over the country, I couldn’t help but think about how wonderful it would be if those lines were actually at various charitable organizations instead. Can you imagine lines out the door habitat for humanity or food banks or soup kitchens or elementary schools or rest homes? Long lines of people anxiously waiting to volunteer and serve others? I remember when I was the childrens ministry director and could barely get people to volunteer to teach Sunday School, serve in the Nursery or VBS! And it was their home church for their own people! But wait in line for a chicken sammie? You betcha.

    I appreciate so much that you have brought this issue to your readers, and your admission that this issue has caused you to think about some things. But I can’t help wondering what the outcome would have been this week if pastors and ministers across the country had spoken up in their pulpits LAST Sunday about this issue. Encouraging some of the more positive and affirming behaviors that have been addressed in the blogs you listed and in some of the comments on your blog. And maybe some did, I have no way of knowing.

    I look forward to the day when ALL Americans have the same and equal rights under the law. ALL Americans. Not just the heterosexual ones.

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