Marriage Tuesday

there’s a lot of political agenda being batted around over women’s rights in the national arena.

there’s a lot of theological agenda being batted around over women’s rights (and roles) in the church.  and its been pretty volatile and polarizing over the course of my adult life.

i’m not going to be controversial here.  my understanding of scripture and my position on women’s roles in marriage, the home, society, and the church have been pretty well documented on this blog during the years.

whether your marriage has taken on the characteristics of the traditional husband as the authority-leader-chief decision maker and wife as the subordinate-follower-helper…or whether your marriage has taken on the look of true equality between you and your mate…what i write here, to husbands, should be true of both.

husbands, do you do your fair share of the dishwashing and house cleaning…or are you communicating that certain work is “women’s work”?

husbands, do you encourage your wife to express her opinions openly and boldly…about any and every topic?  do you listen intently to those opinions and hold them highly?

husbands, does your wife get an equal vote in every decision?  (and stay away from typical male pig joking right now.  i mean it.)

husbands, do you inspire your wife to dream of doing great things with her life…and do you do everything you can to help her achieve them?

husbands, is there any place in your marriage where you are guilty of undermining her self-confidence or limiting her goals?

husbands, do you ever give your wife a reason to mistrust you or be afraid of you…because you’re the man/boss of the house?

husbands (dads), would you want your daughter to grow up and marry a man who treats her exactly the way you treat  your wife (her mother)?

husbands, are there ways you are subtly…or even overtly…communicating that men are better, stronger, or more important than women?

husbands, if you truly believe that you are supposed to be the spiritual leader  of your wife, have you told her exactly what that means and exactly what she can expect of you as said leader…since that’s what leaders do?  i didn’t think so.

husbands, do you believe that god communicates to you clearly through your wife?  do you listen?  if you answered yes to the previous two questions, do you obey?

husbands, do you believe that your wife is equally competent (to you) to interpret scripture?

dads, do you tell your daughters, every day, to dream the biggest dreams possible and to not let anybody or anything hold them back from doing what god lays on their hearts to do?

husbands, are you the protector of your wife’s dreams and aspirations and self-esteem?  is there anybody that gives her more compliments, encouragement and inspiration than you?  if there is, how come?

husbands, does your wife know that you need her?  not to do your laundry or to cook your meals or to take care of your children or to keep you from being lonely…but for her wisdom and her strength and her example?

husbands, really…get with the program.  okay?

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