Marriage Tuesday

some people would say that marriage is difficult.

i would not be one of those people.

as a matter of fact, because i believe that god created men and women for relationship, there’s no way that i believe that he created it for all the pain and heartache and struggle that it ends up being for so many.

nope.  marriage is not difficult.

but people are.  like…really difficult sometimes.

difficult people make marriage hard.   selfish people make marriage hard. thoughtless people make marriage hard.   angry people make marriage hard.   scared people make marriage hard.  demanding people make marriage hard. dishonest people make marriage hard.   controlling people make marriage hard. hurt people make marriage hard.

it’s true that it takes two to make a good marriage…but it only takes one to make it difficult.   so i’ll ask you…

are you being driven by what you want, or do you constantly put the needs of your spouse first?

do you think carefully before you talk or act?

are you holding on to unresolved bitterness or anger..to your spouse, or even others?  what are you afraid of?   is fear controlling your heart?  does it spill out in unhealthy ways?

are you demanding?  do you have to have things done your way?  do you try to control or manipulate your spouse?  do you know what passive-aggressive means?  do you pout or give the silent treatment when you don’t get what you want?

are you hiding anything from your spouse?  do you have other relationships that get more of your time or emotional investment?  are you talking with your spouse about it?

do you have past hurts and resentments that you are holding on to?  does past pain and disappointment that happened to you years ago affect the way you interact with your spouse today?

don’t blame the concept or reality of marriage for the difficulties you face.   don’t act like the end of your marriage will be the end of your problems.  

you can’t be responsible for the actions, attitudes, or heart of your spouse.

but you better be responsible for yours.

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