the thing about marriage is it’s so…well, real life.
infatuation? not so much.
dating? no way. it’s all about impressing the other person.
engagement? meh. planning the epic wedding ceremony becomes larger than life.
the honeymoon? really? you think it’s going to be that good forever?
the first year? nothing more than playing house in the lu-lu-lu-luuuuv shack, baby.
year two…and beyond? now we’re talking real life.
i read a quote by the marketing guru, seth godin, the other day. it was about how we go about living our lives. i don’t think he intended it to be about marriage, but i took it that way.
“Instead of wondering where your next vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don’t need to escape from.” – Seth Godin
it sure seems like people live their lives anticipating a reprieve or diversion from the routine. they hold on…imagining how good it’s going to be when they can finally get away from the daily grind. living for 5:00. gearing up for the weekend. planning the family vacation. moving to the new house. getting a new ride. whatever.
now, understand. vacations and new cars are not bad. they are neutral. it depends on why you need them and what’s fueling your desire. that’s why i like his quote.
do you really need something else to make your life better? is there something about how your life is going that is driving you to escape from it? if that’s true, there is no trip you can take or no destination you can arrive at or no thing you can buy that will divert you from the poverty of your own existence.
the same is true for marriage. the reality is most of married life is simply walking through messy existence with your partner. the thrill of late-night phone conversations and shoving wedding cake into each other’s faces and the newness of playing house gives way to the reality that the honeymoon is, indeed, over.
…and there is no escaping the absolute joy…or the unending drudgery of living real life together with the one you made the promise to. it simply depends on how you view it.
are you running or staying?
are you digging in and working at it…or are you detaching and shopping for satisfaction somewhere else?
are you trusting that god’s way is better than your way?
marriage is awesome. but it’s not perfect. and we aren’t either.
(and if you took this post as some kind of modern day, king solomon kind of “ecclesiastes” depressivie rant about marriage…boy, did you miss the point!)