cricketsi get it.  the silence.

it’s definitely time to post about my favorite burger joints.  or the start of baseball season.  go padres.  or maybe gun control.

yeah.  gun control.  that’s the ticket.  anything but this steady stream of endless seriousness.

soon.  i promise.  but before we move on to topics that are less intrusive and way more fun to talk about, here’s some reality that’s come to the surface this week:

in the midst of really healthy, bro to bro, deep, committed, godly friendships, there are still some subjects that are almost completely off limits in our conversations.

even when we know that a couple is struggling in their marriage, we have a “don’t ask, don’t tell” kind of relationship.  it is not socially, or even spiritually, acceptable to ask, “hey, how’s your sex life?” or “are you being sexually satisfied?”.  are you kidding me?!  we’d rather watch a couple go down in flames before we bring that subject up!!  but shouldn’t real friends be willing to wade out into deeper waters… especially when they sense something may be wrong.

more than that, why is it that we would rather struggle in painful silence…instead of turning to friends and saying, “please help us, our relationship is slowly disintegrating”?

we also stay away from ever offering our help or suggestions to parents, even if we see mistakes being made.  we con ourselves into believing that it’s none of our business, because we don’t want anybody evaluating our parenting, either.  so the fear of risking our friendship paralyzes us and we sit by and say nothing.

that brings me to the money issue.  other than sex and parenting, there isn’t another topic that causes believers to wig out more than talking about money.  talk of money (especially the topic of church giving), more often than not, makes grown men and women… and otherwise spiritually mature followers of christ… react with defensiveness, self-consciousness…and sometimes it might even end up in some form of retaliation against the church or church leadership.

…or just leaving that church, in search of another one that stays away from stepping…uninvited…into our financial lives.

but how cool would it be to have someone actually say, “hey would you help me?  i struggle with being generous.  i’m afraid to give my money away sacrificially.  i don’t think my faith is strong enough to let go and trust god there will still be enough for me.  how can i learn to give to others the way god gives to me?”

really.  how cool would that be?


5 thoughts on “*crickets…*

  1. Padre, I really appreciate your series on giving, and though I am a “regular” giver, I knew that God was telling me my heart is not truly generous. Thank you. I have been passing these posts along to my own pastor because he is terrified of talking about money. Elmer Gantry is firmly embedded in his soul, and he just doesn’t want to go there. And the other thing, about people’s marriage lives and parenting? I’d JUST been thinking about asking a friend of mine one of the questions you posed when I read your post. So, keep it up. We MUST have these conversations!

    1. thanks for the encouragement! i totally understand what your pastor is feeling. if he’s open, tell him he can email me. i’d be glad to share his burden…

  2. wow, sex, money, poitics, and religion. you’re blog should be blowing up with responses if TV ratings are any measure on our culture’s interest in these subjects. the concept of stewardship is not discussed much today and our culture’s ability to clutch onto the western value of personal ownership really presents a challenge to followers of Jesus. Andrew came home from NT class last night and discussing Acts and the difference between “descriptive” and “prescriptive” in reading scripture and it always amazes me when american christians read in Acts about how the first converts sold and shared they possessions we instantly conclude it is “descriptive” not “prescriptive”; i.e., Luke was just describing what occured not telling us a “biblical teaching”. I’m not so sure. But I do know for those nerds like me, Denethor in Lord of the Rings lack of understanding what a ‘steward’ is results in the decline of Gondor.

    and for those who like cliches – “control your possessions, don’t allow your possessions own you.”

    1. there are times my love-hate affair with being an american christian gets the best of me. we are really good a drawing “principles” out of scripture, but not so hot at following the example of the first century disciples.

      on another note, you ought to have a blog. i’d read it.

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