Disagreement

disagreement“let’s just agree to disagree.”

that’s a familiar…and favorite…line people often use when they have different points of view with people they respect or have to have interaction with.  i prefer another line:

“let’s disagree well.”

winning arguments is a hallmark of our culture these days.  being “right” is more than just symbolic superiority…it’s our justification for the self-righteous walls we build between us and anybody who doesn’t agree with us.

cultural differences.  moral differences.  political differences.  theological differences.  somebody’s right and somebody’s wrong.  right?

you’re right and they’re wrong.  right?

maybe so or maybe not, but that’s not the point here tonight.  the point here is understanding that disagreement is increasingly part of our daily lives and we need to figure out how to disagree in such a way that a greater good is served.  winning the argument is not the goal.  love is always the greater good.  and that can only happen when we disagree well.

i read a pretty good article tonight.  you might want to check it out, if you have a couple of minutes.  here’s a quote from it that grabbed me:

We need to understand that the underlying theme that allows for disagreement to happen in a healthy way is emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence can be simply defined as seeking to understand before being understood. It’s human nature to fight for your supposed “right” to an opinion and your supposed “right” to be heard. But the reigning mark of our faith is not holding on to our personal rights, but offering our Christ-reflective unconditional love. It’s easier hoard the opportunity to push someone else down than to sacrifice your right to be heard. But to uphold the name of love, this is often the harder, better way.

try putting that into action.

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