Marriage Tuesday

marriage 2in spite of all the turmoil and debate and political chaos out there, men and women are still getting married.  and since that’s the only kind of marriage i know anything about, i think i’ll keep writing about it.

most of us are raised to be goal oriented.  get “A’s” in school.  lose twenty pounds.  go on a vacation.  get a new job.  win the super bowl.  goals are what fuel our ambitions and give purpose to our behavior.

nobody gets up in the morning and says, “i want to be a loser today.  i want to make dumb decisions and shipwreck my life.”  no.  we make goals so we can excel or improve or make a difference or achieve some level of expertise or satisfaction.  we make goals so we can be the best we can be and reach our potential and make our mark.

at least some people are that way.

but, you know, when it comes to marriage, i think it’s a whole different ball game.

i wish i were wrong, but it seems to me the goal of most marriages i see is not to get divorced.  no plans.  not working on anything.  not building for something.  not focusing on improvement.  just going through the motions with no bigger purpose in mind.

it’s ironic and incredibly sad that the goal to simply “stay married”, turns into such a horribly disastrous goal.

hear this:  if you are doing nothing to intentionally strengthen your marriage…if you are doing nothing to intentionally deepen the quality of your relationship with your spouse…if you are doing nothing on purpose to develop or improve the character and maturity of your heart and spiritual life…the goal of your marriage is nothing more than survival.

and it’s a crap shoot if you’ll reach that goal.

i know that’s not particularly cheery, but it’s the truth.

so get busy and start setting some goals worthy of the high calling of marriage.  stop making a mockery of this wonderful gift god gave to us when he created adam and eve in the garden…these two who represented the ultimate expression of god’s creative genius in their differences and similarities…and start protecting it and growing it and taking delight in it.

really.

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