A word about forgiveness

ForgivenessI’m a Clipper fan.

I’m not a recent convert.  I didn’t jump on the bandwagon a few years ago when they got Chris Paul.  When the Clippers moved from Buffalo to San Diego in 1978, I was hooked.

(I actually still have a fondness for the Houston Rockets because they were originally established in SD until they relocated to Texas in 1971.  I saw Elvin Hayes and Calvin Murphy in San Diego uniforms when I was in high school.  Take that bada@@…)

I was never a Donald Sterling fan.  To me, he was just a rich lawyer who bought the Clippersthen flaunted his power by moving them to his hometown of Los Angeles.  I was crushed.  Anywhere but LA…

After 35 years of owning the team, all he’s ever won is the title of “Worst Owner in the History Professional Sports”.  Take that, Jerruh.  His latest bout with media-exposed bigotry is merely icing on the cakeand not worth my commentary.  I’ll simply let him continue to speak for himself.  Sad.  So Sad.

However, he did say something worth pointing out.

In his televised interview with Anderson Cooper, he said something that most everybody is guilty of saying:  “Please forgive me.”   It’s definitely the favorite go-to line for anybody caught screwing up.

  • Stupid boyfriends:  “Please forgive me.”
  • Insensitive husbands:  “Please forgive me.”
  • Wives who fail their husbands:  “Please forgive me.”
  • Shamed public officials:  “Please forgive me.”
  • Disgraced Pastors:  “Please forgive me.”
  • Humiliated celebrities:  “Please forgive me.”
  • Discredited bosses:  “Please forgive me.”
  • Embarrassed employees:  “Please forgive me.”
  • Guilt-ridden parents (to their children):  “Please forgive me.”

Let me just say thisNo.  No.  No.  No.

We can ask God to forgive our sins.  He can handle it.  It is impossible to emotionally manipulate him.  He is not subject to our drama.  His memory of our past sin is short, if not entirely non-existent.  We cannot make Him feel guilty.  And He has the power to give us the forgiveness we need most of all.

However, people are different.  When you have committed an offense or wrongdoing in the eyes of another, you have no right to ask them to forgive you.  You have no right to place that responsibility on them.  You have no right to make dealing with your sin, their problem.

Let’s be clear.  God requires that we forgive lavishly, abundantly, quickly and completelyfor our own good, for their good, and for the good of all those we rub elbows with.  If we fail to forgive, we will be held accountable.  By God.

On the other hand, if you are the one that sins against anotherif you screw up…if you hurt somebodyif you break a promiseif you are guilty of a trangressionhere is your plan when you meet the one you have wronged:

Confess (acknowledge) what you did wrong and you know it affected them.  Say you’re sorry for what you have done.  Mean it. Commit to them that it won’t happen again (to the best of your ability).

Then give them space and time to forgive you when they are ready.

Anything more than that is manipulative and unfair.

Whew.  I feel better now.  Time for bed.

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2 thoughts on “A word about forgiveness

  1. Of course some/most knew of his bigotry. But the lead was buried.
    Here are a couple of reason of why I think Sterling is just like everyone else in the world. And I really don’t care what he said.

    #1 What is bringing him down was the tactics he used in trying to get some tail. I can almost guarantee that any guy that is reading the blog will have used some kind of tactic to land some tail. I am being too transparent?
    Sterling, unfortunately dug too deep in the playbook.

    #2 He is old and losing it: My first thought when I heard the interview was my Grandma. If you put a mic in front of her today, at the age 84, You will get some of the most wheels-off comments ever. She swears that she is not Mexican(she’s not really) very angrily. It’s like she hates Mexicans. Unfortunately for her she can’t get away from Mexicans because my family is half Mexican! Grandma married one. She never said anything racist when I was growing up, but the filter is OFF these days.

    Moral to the story: Make sure you have a great wife/partner in crime when you get old, so you don’t have to use racist tactics to get some.

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