I began blogging back in 2005. In those days, keeping an online journal (or weblog, as it was originally called), was a pretty novel idea. It was before the explosion of social media. Remember MySpace? Xanga? Man, have things changed!
These days, I subscribe to about 125 different blogs of all kinds…theology, social issues, leadership, apologetics, sports, news and politics, church life, counseling…you name it. I read nearly every day and one thing is pretty obvious: coming up with something new, original, and fresh every time I write is tough business. The world wide web is definitely saturated.
I wrote my first “Marriage Tuesday” on August 25, 2009. Since then, I have written 185 different posts on marriage…easily one of my top two writing topics (the other is writing about the life of a pastor). Even my own blog is saturated.
My guess is in the seven years I’ve been writing about marriage, I’m pretty sure you’ve either missed or forgotten most of them. So starting next week, I’m going to pick out some of the ones I like the most, and begin re-posting them on Tuesdays. I hope you read them.
Since I got married over 40 years ago, marriage, at least as I’ve experienced it, has taken quite a few shots. Divorce, as painful and understandable as it might be, has ravaged the institution. When over half of all marriages across the board, end in divorce, we can easily conclude the structure stands on shaky ground, at best.
Forty years ago, I would have never dreamed that same-sex marriages would be constitutionally legitimized. I suspect some sort of legalized polygamy will follow suit before my lifetime is over. Extra-marital affairs are glamorized in the media and seen as normal behavior, though sometimes with negative consequences.
Four out of five couples I marry these days are already living together. Many of them claim to be people of faith, or even active church goers. Sex-before-marriage statistics, especially among teenagers, is mind-boggling.
The heavy-handed patriarchal movement and radical feminine empowerment have challenged the way we view traditional marriage roles. Sometimes for good. Sometimes for bad. Battle lines have been drawn in the church…some lobbying for a return to traditional Bible values and behaviors (as they understand them), while others opt for a more culture-centric interpretation of the male/female and marriage texts in the Bible (as they understand them).
I could go on, but I’m afraid I would just add to the confusion, rather than help clear it up.
So I will continue to write about marriage from the only point of view I know: One dude married to his wife for life. I have no experience living with Wanda before we got married, so I’m no help there. We’ve only experienced sex with each other, so I can’t write about the experience of multiple sex partners. The same goes for the whole same-sex thing. I’ve got nothing to offer, first hand, on divorce. It’s simply never been an issue. I can only give what I’ve gleaned from others.
I would lie if I told you I wasn’t sad. There was a consistency and wholesomeness about marriage, that was a part of my childhood, that has changed over time. “As long as we both shall live” has been twisted. If not in words, it is most certainly in heart: “As long as we both shall love”.
The simplicity and finality of one man and one woman, forever is now a minority perspective. But it is the only perspective I know first hand. And it is the only perspective I can speak to with any integrity.
So that is what you’ll continue to get.