For those of you who turn to my blog for deep theological insights, you’re wading into the wrong pool tonight. Really, if that’s what you need, you’re probably better off ordering a used copy of Calvin’s Institutes from Amazon to have on your bookshelf. However, if you keep reading all the way to the end, you might find something worthwhile. You be the judge.
I have never been one of those raving lunatic fans that yell and scream and paint their faces and have custom made toilet paper with their favorite team’s logo on alternating squares. But watching the demise of the San Diego Chargers and the impending cloud of doom hanging over my head because of their predicted relocation to Los Angeles, has turned into an emotional beat down.
I know you don’t care, but it’s my blog. My therapy.
So, as I’ve said before, in anticipation of Char(ger)mageddon, I am currently trying out new suitors…new teams that could potentially win the loyalty of this jilted fan. Currently NOT in the running:
- Oakland Raiders – The NFL would simply be better off if they didn’t exist. 1978. Ken Stabler. Google “Holy Roller” and watch the video. Better yet, look up the word “cheater” in the dictionary. Yeah. I’m still bitter.
- Any new team in Los Angeles – No self-respecting San Diegan can cheer for any team located in Los Angeles. No way. No how. Sorry.
- New England Patriots – They’ve already won way too much. I can only cheer for them to lose. More.
- Dallas Cowboys – I’m a huge fan of Jason Garrett, Tony R, Tyron Smith, Whitten, Cole Beasley, and Byron Jones. But I’m simply not a cynical, glass-is-half-empty, Jerruh Jones hating, the-other-shoe-is-going-to-drop kind of guy. I’m too positive. Too soft-hearted. Too happy. I would be a horrible Cowboy fan. But I’ll keep working on it…
These teams are currently IN the running for my loyalty and services:
- Jacksonville Jags – Word is, the Jaguars are potentially on the way out of Jacksonville in the next year or two. I’m already pulling for them to relocate to San Diego in 2018. I need to practice liking them in the meantime.
- Cincinnati Bengals – I love me some Andy Dalton. Second best uniforms ever. Nothing will ever beat the powder blues…
- Arizona Cardinals – I’m a west-coast guy and when the “Big One” hits, Phoenix will be straight up ocean front property.
- New Orleans Saints – Come on. Who doesn’t like Drew Brees? And I could actually go see them play in person. Not a bad deal.
The truth is, I’m actually leaning towards completely investing in my fantasy team each year. Like all the way. I can pick and choose who’s on my team. I can have all players I like. I don’t have to have anybody on my team I don’t like. I AM the owner, GM, and coach. Clean sweep at the end of the season. Start brand new in the next. No hold overs. No baggage. No off-season drama. I can even name my own team. And every now and then, your fantasy quarterback throws seven touchdown passes in a game…
What’s not to love about this? A make-believe team in a make-believe league competing for a make-believe championship in a make-believe world. Fantasy is a great thing for football.
Fantasy is not so great in real life. Are you serving a fantasy God or the one true God?