Young Eagles

It’s not uncommon for my mind to wander these days.

Am I slowing down and my struggle with focus is just the inevitable result of getting older?  Could be.  Is it my adult onset ADD acting up?  Sounds like a good excuse to me.  Or maybe I’ve got an over-active mind that is constantly processing the overload of information constantly at my fingertips.  Yeah.  That’s the ticket.

Or maybe I’ve just grown undisciplined.  Great.  Honesty sucks.

Anyway…my wandering has been taking me to the same place for quite a while, lately.  I imagine there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t spend some time thinking about how to make my days in the fourth quarter good days.  Productive days.  Days that make a difference.  Days where I make plans to intentionally pass the mantle.

(I wrote about some of these things a couple of years ago in two of the most important posts I have ever written.  You can check them out here and here…or you can wait until I re-post them soon.)

Larry Osborne is a seasoned pastor… and the author of a book called, Sticky Teams, a book on building leadership in the local church.  He has some interesting things to say about passing the mantle of church leadership on to the younger generation:

In the church, says Osborne,  “The seniors never graduate (at least not until they’ve become literal seniors and start dying off). They hog the leadership table, shutting out the next generation. It’s one of the main reasons that most churches stop growing and lose their evangelistic touch (and cultural relevance) around the twenty-year mark.”

And then a little later, “Leadership is a zero-sum game. One person’s emerging influence is always another person’s waning influence. That’s why making room for the young eagles is a hard sell, especially to those who already have a seat at the table.”

I know the reasons we have fewer young people stepping up to take on significant leadership in the church (yours…ours) are complex.  Family demands.  Work demands.  Money demands.  Home ownership demands.  Recreational demands.  School demands.  Demands…demands…demands.

Finding more time in already-packed-schedules seems impossible.  And if time is found, there are already many great, important things that our time can be devoted to.  Fitting even more in is a crazy proposition.  Taking on leadership/ownership in a church family can feel outrageously stupid.  But it can be done.

My church family was started and lead by a group of twenty-somethings and early thirty-somethings.  If it weren’t for the dedication and tireless work of these young couples, there would be no North Point today.  These were all people with full-time jobs and families and homes and children and demanding schedules.

But they figured it out because it was important.

It can be done.  The reason they became the leaders is because there were no other leaders.  They were it.  Without them it would have failed.  That’s why I so totally agree with what Larry Osborne said.  Those who currently hold the seats of leadership need to make room at the table for the young eagles.

Young eagles have huge liabilities.   I had no idea how to lead a youth group when I took over the leadership at age 18.  But I am a great believer in this statement by the philosopher, Plato:  “Necessity is the mother of invention.”   And God is faithful to make up what is lacking in the lives of those who are willing to serve Him.

We live in a culture where leadership is most often based on tenure, experience, and education.  Leadership isn’t handed to just anybody.  It’s earned.  You have to pay your dues.  You have to prove your worth.  But the church shouldn’t be dictated by culture.  It should influence it.

I am sensing a huge need to make more and more room at the table of leadership to those who are younger.  And you don’t have to earn it.  You simply have to see the need, have the faith of a mustard seed, and desire to make a difference.

Any young eagles out there who are ready to fly?

Walking away

there have been a lot of studies over the past decade or so,  that have tried to answer the question of why so many young adults are leaving  (or have left)  the church.

recently i read a couple of them here and here that helped give some definition and put into words some things i have been wrestling with for a while.

it’s no secret i have spent the majority of my life helping young people come to grips with their faith.   but the sadness  i feel when i think about how so many of those kids  struggle with their faith after they leave the youth group is sometimes pretty overwhelming.

although i work hard not to beat myself up over their decisions…i can’t help but think we (i)  have let them down.   this is not therapy for me.   it is not my attempt at martyrdom.   i just think there’s just some stuff we need to own up to…and begin to aggressively address,  or what’s bad now is going to keep getting worse in the decades to come.

over the next few months,  usually on fridays,  i want to deal with some of the issues that keep pushing people away.

let’s just go ahead and deal with the mother of all reasons that people,  young and old,  criticize the church and walk away.  church people are just a bunch of hypocrites.

what a wonderful,  catch-all,  explanation for what’s wrong with the church.   and i’ve listened to church people get pretty defensive over this one…sometimes in a smug,  superior kind of way.   i’ve spent a lifetime watching people grow  protective,  and even cynical,  about this criticism.

nobody likes being accused of being hypocritical.   even if we are.

so here are some thoughts about hypocrisy…from a recovering hypocrite:

hypocrisy,  by definition,  is acting.   it is putting on a show.   it is covering up the real person that we are…and pretending to be something we’re not.   it is saying one thing and doing another.   it’s going through the motions on the outside,  but being something totally different on the inside.   how dare we be offended when someone accuses us of being exactly who we are!

because we are hypocrites,  we are left with three options:

one,  we can keep pretending.   and young people will keep seeing through us.   and it will keep being offensive and it will continue to push people away.

two,  we can try to stop being hypocrites.   now really,  this is a pretty good option.   i would even recommend it.   jesus certainly does.   but there is a problem with this option that won’t go away.   we’re not perfect.   there is no way we are going through life with perfect motives and consistently perfect behavior.

so i recommend the third option.   why not just go ahead and admit that we are imperfect,  hypocritical people who are deeply in need of help?

why not just go ahead and stop pretending we are spiritually superior to other people?   why not admit that we have fears and crutches and questions and doubts?   why not admit that our personal lives are messy and filled with inconsistencies?   why not just admit we don’t know everything…don’t have all the answers…and don’t always have our act together?

i believe in our attempt to be light in a dark world and be messengers of hope for the hopeless,  our message gets constantly obscured by our unwillingness  (or unawareness) to admit that we are simply like everyone else.

i don’t think we mean to,  but we often talk and act like we are better than others…like we are spiritually superior…like we are just a little cleaner and a little nicer and a little smarter and little purer and cut above those who don’t believe what we believe and those who won’t do what we expect them to do or not do.

like i said,  we ought to stop being hypocritical.   we need to conform our character and behavior more and more to the life and example of the one we claim worship.   (that’s another post)

but maybe we need to start growing more comfortable with remembering who we are and that we are nothing without the grace of god.   and maybe that’s a message people…especially those that recognize our hypocrisy as well as we do…need to be hearing with greater clarity.