A late night jam

Such a weird, weird time.  There is no way I could have ever imagined I would have spent all day in my new, make-shift, office-production studio, working on videos for tomorrow’s live stream AND in-person services…because I am quarantined and can’t even come to my own church building in the morning!

This mess is stretching my pollyanna, glass-is-half-full, rose colored glasses, make-lemonade, positive attitude to a breaking point.

It was so bad, I had to FaceTime my five year-old granddaughter this afternoon to tell her I needed an attitude adjustment.  She just laughed at me.  I was being serious.

Seriously, it was in the midst of my personal, man in the mirror, counseling session that I had some clarity.  

I’m a newer dinosaur.  I come from an era that viewed church life a little differently than the pop culture view growing in popularity these days.  Part of my surliness tonight is due to being forced against my will (by a virus enemy I can’t even see), to miss being with my people at a church building tomorrow morning.  No matter how small the crowd is going to be.

And I’ll own the hypocrisy.  For all of my talk of church being the people and my criticism of the overblown importance the celebrity-driven church places on the “stage” and the guilt I vowed I would no longer heap on people who want to go camping or to a ball game with their family on the weekend, I still believe that Sunday is a sacred, special, and life-altering day.

And I want it to be that way for every follower of Jesus.  

I’m all for redefining the methods we use to reach people.  I’ve embraced the digital church.  I’m all in on foregoing the complicated, burdensome, self-righteous expectations church leaders love to place on people…and replacing them with a more loving, gracious, and patient call for people to love God and love others in their own unique way.

But the need for the Body of Christ to be fully engaged with each other and to be physically present in each other’s lives…regularly and faithfully…will never go away.  You need me.  I need you.  That doesn’t change just because you want to do things.  That doesn’t change just because you have a computer and a big screen.  That doesn’t change just because Sunday is your only real day off.  Sorry.

Here’s a little bonus lesson for your reading pleasure:

On a practical level, church life is all about friendship.  A common disappointment I have heard from people my whole life is they don’t feel like they fit in at church.  They don’t have any close friends.  They have better friends at work or in other social circles. They don’t know people at church.  They are left out.  Nobody really cares or pays attention to them.  You get the picture.

If that looks or feels like you, front my point of view, you have three options:

One, you need to leave your church and go find another one that has people that are more like you and will make it easier for you to fit in.  This option has been pretty popular over the past few decades and is a big factor in the growth of new churches.  I don’t like it, but it’s been a fairly successful way for churches to get bigger.  And it’s the easy way out.

Two, you can decide to make friends with people at your church who are different than you are.  Your church is probably full of those kinds of people.  It’s not always easy.  Or particularly fun.  Your friends in other social circles (who are more like you) probably won’t understand why you don’t have as much time for them.  But your life will be richer and fuller and more like Jesus.  I think it’s a pretty good trade off.

Three, you can bring friends from your other social circles (who are more like you) to your church.  This is a win-win.  You have more of your kind at your church…and maybe more will come and join in.  And…you get to be a bridge-builder between your two groups of friends.  You get to be kind of a modern day Apostle Paul who stood between the Jews and the Gentiles in first century Rome.  Kind of like spiritual peanut butter between slices of bread.

Those are some fine footsteps to follow, btw.

Whoa.  I feel better now.

Truly…just thinking this morning.

the fact that i stand at odds with the current cultural model of  “senior pastor”  is pretty well chronicled.

but i gotta admit that it’s kind of intimidating…and more than a little uncomfortable… to recognize that i disagree with modern big dogs,  the likes of:  john macarthur,  bill hybels,  mark driscoll,  john piper,  chuck swindoll,  jack graham,  rick warren,  t.d. jakes,  matt chandler,  tommy nelson,  tony evans,  ed young,  david platt,  perry noble,  and the like.

and not just the current ones,  but influential pastors down through the ages,  as well.

shaky ground,  campers.   shaky ground.

but i will hold fast.

simply put,  no matter how much i read my bible  (and study church history ),  i don’t see justification for the existence of the ecclesiastical hierarchy.   i just don’t.

i see an entire system of modern church leadership build around a word that appears only once (in its current usage) in the entire new testament:

It was he (Jesus) who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of service…  Ephesians 4:11-12

one place.

the idea of  THE pastor…the concept of the chief-boss-director…head dude in charge…powerful…authoritative… anointed…ordained by god…the singular prophetic vision-caster for an entire church…well,  that’s where i draw the line.

i just don’t see anywhere in the bible that says that one man is supposed to be the spiritual conduit of god’s wisdom and leading of a congregation of god’s people.   i just don’t see it.

there is no question that the list of men at the top of this post represents a modern-day hall of fame for church leaders.   they are each eloquent speakers,  powerful leaders,  and diligent bible scholars  (many of whom disagree radically with each other…ahh,  the irony…).

they are influential,  courageous,  passionate,  wise,  loving,  and have each lived lives of compassionate grace for the good of the churches they lead ,  as well as the church world-wide.

this is not a shot at them.   on the contrary,  i have deep respect for them and the legacy of church leadership they will leave behind through their books,  speaking,  church reputations,  and personal lives.

(on a positive note,  my personal influence and legacy is building.   my daily readership in the great blogosphere  is expanding by at least one or two a month.   *crowd cheers*.   and i’ve now had three people ask me when i’m writing a book.   dang…it would sooo be four,  if my mom were still alive…)

i believe they are fully convinced of their biblical exposition and even more convinced of the high calling they have received.   i believe they follow the long and storied model of church pastors passed down to them from their teachers and mentors.

but i still find myself on the other side. when i read my bible,  i just don’t see the singular anointed leader role that they do.   and that most churches see,  also.   its not just the pastor who perpetuates the role…it also comes from the expectations of the people they lead.

i see the need for leadership.   i see the need for good teaching and preaching.   i see the need for people to be cared for.   i see the great need for integrity and commitment and healthy example.    i work hard to do my best in these areas.

but there is no room for a pedestal.

to the north point family:   thanks for knocking the pedestal over years ago.   thanks for my reminders to resist the urge to build it again.   thanks for the consistent lessons that i need you guys much more than you need me.

* i will be the first to admit that my personal theology of pastoring is not popular.   nor is it without flaw.   but i have arrived at it through careful consideration of the word and an honest look at the church throughout history… including what is going on in the church today.

** i think i’m going to write about food or baseball…or both…tomorrow.   too much seriousness for one week.

truly, i was just thinking…

here’s what i’m thinking this morning, for what it’s worth…

almost twenty years ago, i came to a rather severe crisis in my faith.  not the kind that doubted the existence of god or some mysterious urge to walk away from the church.  it was a crisis unique to my occupation.

i have been employed by the church, doing church work pretty much my entire adult life.  oh, i’ve had other jobs along the way…coaching, teaching, construction, janitorial, laying tile…but for the most part, i have recieved my paychecks based on what went in to the offering plate each week.

when i was 35, wanda and i raised our missionary support and i went to work for amor ministries, taking hundreds of kids and adults into mexico on short-term service trips to build homes for the poor.  on the side, we were part of a small group of people that planted a church in a poor, multi-cultural community in east san diego, near our home.

for the the first time since i was 25, i went to church on sundays just like everyone else…because i wanted to.  in the  early days of our church, i really began to question whether i did my “church work” the previous ten years because i was paid to…or because i really wanted to.

it was an incredible eye-opening, heart-softening five years of my life as god taught me about motivation and serving and relationships based on the concept of sharing life as a family…and began weening me off of my remaining pious attitudes of spiritual superiority because of my “position”.

i became free to set up tables and chairs before the service and play my guitar and open my home to friends and read my bible and work in the community or visit people in the hospital simply because i was a follower of christ…not because it was my job or because people expected me to.  it was absolute freedom.

when we moved to texas 15 years ago, i made a vow to god that even though i was going to continue to receive my income by being a full-time church program director, bible teacher and sheep-herder, i would never do it because i was paid to.  i would never do it simply because it was my job.  i would never do it from a position of spiritual superiority or some advanced calling or because i thought i was any different than anybody else who called themself a follower of christ.

i am humbled beyond words that people still put money in the offering plate each sunday and because of that, i get to live and work where i do and i get to serve the kingdom the way god has wired me to do it.

even though my job and calling may be different than yours, our battle is the same:  to serve and give and live our lives with integrity and healthy motives…clean hands and pure hearts.

i’ll give you another take on this later.